think about (something) carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion.
"I pondered the question of what clothes to wear for the occasion"
synonyms: think about, contemplate, consider, review, reflect on, mull over, meditate on, muse on, deliberate about, cogitate on, dwell on, brood on, ruminate on, chew over, puzzle over, turn over in one's mind, overthink
"she had time to ponder over the incident"
So I've been pondering.
For the last two years, I was party in many conversations about the state of the publishing industry. Book sales seemed to be tanking. Royalty checks were shrinking, and I mean shrinking.
I hate to air dirty laundry, but I've been pondering.
Writing, being a writer, is what I was meant to do. I think I knew it when I was quite young but it wasn't an option for me before the desktop computer changed everyone's world. I got a [good-paying] job and I've worked it for a long time. And yes, it provides benefits writing doesn't like an old-fashioned secure pension plan, primo health insurance, and enduring friendships with past co-workers.
Writing is the hardest work I've ever done, so I've been pondering.
When the last publisher I was with decided to close its doors, I was shocked. Everyone was shocked. It appeared very sudden on the surface, but I've been pondering. In retrospect, I think it was planned out well in advance, if not collectively by the primaries, at least individually.
Not to tell my secrets, but the indie publishing is going well. In three weeks, my totals have reached four-digits - without a decimal point in there.
So I've been, okay, I admit it - BROODING.
What, exactly, IS the state of the publishing business? Why are the same books I had with a publisher suddenly moving copies indie at a rate that out-strips what they did in the last two years?
Yes, I'm brooding.