Wednesday, June 1, 2016

IWSG - An Exercise in Introspection (or how I almost quit writing)

June 1, 2016

The Insecure Writer's Support Group

I think the scariest thing I’ve experienced since being published was the dry season at the beginning of this year.  For the first time since 2003, I seriously considered pulling the plug on my writing career.

The timing to take that action was perfect. Amber Quill Press had announced it was closing. This meant all but one of my KC Kendricks books would be going out of print. I could pull my one indie release, take down the KC website and fade away. It was tempting beyond measure.

For two weeks I did nothing related to writing. I played on the computer and kept in touch with friends, but if it wasn’t pre-scheduled, it didn’t go out. I wanted to know what life could be like without writing, and the answer was sobering, if not downright frightening.

Fast on the heels of discovering I actually could walk away from writing, my mother landed in the hospital. It was a comfort to me, in my heart, to know that if I had to devote more time to her care, I wouldn’t miss writing with gut-wrenching, heart-rending sorrow. 

June is my birthday month. I live with the duality of being a Gemini. Some folks think astrology is hogwash, and while I won’t say I agree or disagree, I do see in myself many of the traits attributed to the Twins. The introspection of the last several months has been good, at least for part of me. I think that in small ways I’m sad my passion for writing isn’t the same as it was in 2003, but looking at the Big Picture, my dry spell was a positive thing. I want to write.

Writers weather many storms. We’re in touch with emotions in a unique way. We have to be to translate them to the page. This sometimes leaves us at the mercy of our own feelings. If we can step back, look at ourselves as we would one of our character creations, we might discover the path we just traveled, and the road to our own future, isn’t as scary as we thought. Sometimes we walk in daylight, with our eyes closed, and we only think it’s night. When we discover the truth of what lies beneath our own skin, we write.

And sometimes we write better.

KC Kendricks

1 comment:

Diane Burton said...

KC, been there. My dry spell went on for almost five years during which time everything changed. What's Twitter, Facebook, Wattpad??? That down time told me one thing--I still wanted to write. Life has been good since. Wishing you only good things from here on.