Thanksgiving changes

November 24, 2016

The "holidays" bring a set of expectations to the door. We all get the yearly visit. While the particulars vary, the overall similarities are part of the American culture. We celebrate and give thanks with family, friends, and food.

The gatherings of my youth are but fond memories. The older generations, those people who passed the family name down, are gone. What remains of my parent's generation is fractured by death and ill health. My generation is equally scattered on holidays, busy with the younger generations of children and grandchildren. I have no biological children. My father has been gone for many years. My mother has Alzheimer's. The sister of my heart moved away. I am, for all intents and purposes, alone on this day, without blood relatives who share my memories. 

That's not to say I don't have people around me. My online posse is far-flung but wishes for a happy day arrived. My partner is the oldest of his siblings and we have an unconditional welcome at his youngest sister's house all days. 

Life goes on in different directions. We had a traditional Thanksgiving meal at the care facility with my mother. Afterward, we had traditional Thanksgiving dessert at his sister's house. 

So while the day didn't unfold as in year's past, it was nonetheless a good day. I could be morose that the beautiful memories of yesteryear will not be re-lived, but I'm not. This is what I have now, today, and I count my many blessings. 

Now that my partner and I are finally home again and into our comfortable old clothes, it's time to call a few of my cousins. It's time to embrace a new normal and make it my own as I go forward in life. I'm sure it will provide a new set of Thanksgiving memories, and Thanksgiving opportunities to enjoy and to be thankful for. 

KC Kendricks

www.kckendricks.com

Legacy

November 8, 2014

This date marks the anniversary of my father's death. I've written about this day before. If you've lost a beloved parent you recognize your life is suddenly divided in two - the before and the after. I've lived longer in the after than the before and, for me, the time before is marked by halcyon days. 

I don't remember who took this old snapshot of us at the wedding of one of my cousins. I was a bridesmaid, which pleased me greatly. My mother made all the bridesmaid dresses, too. Dad wasn't big on having his picture taken but he did it for me. How could we know in a few short years he'd be gone? 

Had he survived the cancer, Dad would be 85 this year. I can't begin to picture what he might look like. For me he is forever young, frozen in the few precious snapshots I have of him. He left me a legacy of love and lessons of what makes a real man, all freely given. He helped shape the person I am today and I'm proud to be part of his legacy.  

KC Kendricks
http://www.kckendricks.com

Christmas Eve 2013

December 24, 2013

It's Christmas Eve. 

I'm trying to discover what that means to me this year but I suspect I'm simply too tired to appreciate the nuances of the day. The hustle and bustle of the last week has caught up to me at a most inopportune time. 

The house is clean, the gifts are wrapped and the table is set for tomorrow. I have no shopping or laundry to do. I've tried to settle down and work on Sundown and Fallon's next story, but I find my eyes closing and my head nodding. The obvious thing to do would be take a nap. 

What? Take a nap and miss part of the day? Me? I don't think so.

I think I'll find my old sneakers and a long coat and head for the woods. It may only be a balmy thirty-seven degrees (Fahrenheit) outside, but that'll work for me. A brisk walk will get the blood flowing and help me contemplate all the good things in my life this Christmas Eve.

My health. My partner. My family. Friends. A warm, dry mortgage-free house. A career I enjoy. A day job that pays the bills. I've got a lot to be thankful for this Christmas Eve. 

Tomorrow there will be an eclectic group of eight at my table. My parents, my uncle and his "friend," and a couple in our circle whose children have scattered to the in-laws. It should make for lively conversation and a merry Christmas Day. 

May your holiday be equally blessed. 

KC

A June Wedding

June 8, 2013

Today marks what would have been my parent's 58th wedding anniversary. My parents met when my father's sister married my mother's brother a few years earlier. The wedding was a small, private affair as my mother has never been fond of the "big and splashy" anything. The marriage lasted until my father's death in 1983.

This is one of only five pictures I have of that day. Mom's dress was tea-length with lace overlay and must have been expensive for its time, one of the few store-bought dresses she had up to that point. (Mom was an excellent seamstress in her day and we both dressed well for pennies.)

I wonder what my parents would be like together today. I know I'd no longer be embarrassed by their antics. Being older and hopefully wiser, I look back at them and realize how lucky I was to have parents who chased each other around the house.  How I ended up an only child is a real mystery.

Their future didn't work out as planned on June 8, 1955, but they made the best of the time they had together, and that's a lesson we should all take to heart.