Sunday, October 6, 2024

Jardinere

October 6, 2024

One of the things on my mind is whether or not to cease blogging at Holly Tree Manor. Holly Tree Manor details more of my day-to-day activities of country living. I share things like gardening and canning, things that not every reader would care about. Holly Tree Manor is a way for me to record my life so that when I'm old I can look back and remember who I was in this time of my life. 

It may seem strange, but being I'm not a trusting sort, I also copy all the entries from my blogs to a file and save the file as a .pdf. Just in case Blogger decides to cease. 

Today's question was to share Jardinere at Between the Keys or at Holly Tree Manor. I decided here would do. 

Jardinere is the name given to the end of the garden produce that is pickled and preserved. Jardinere is made with cauliflower, onion, carrots, celery, cucumbers (or zucchini if you prefer), and bell peppers of any color. I think it's delicious - tart and crunchy! The recipe is in the Ball Book. (That is not an affiliate link.)

Preserving food at home is something I like to do. I wish my ground was arable so I could plant a large garden, but it's not. Within the last few days, dockworkers and longshoremen along the east and gulf coasts went on strike, wanting an over 50% pay increase. Stop and think about what that increase will do to the price of food. 

Preserving food at today's prices is actually saving money when you consume that food next year. We can't stop inflation, but we can slow it down in our individual pantry. 

Now back to writing! 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, home food preservation, m/m romance, rural living, inflation, jardinere, romance books for Kindle, a writer's life

Monday, September 30, 2024

Marking six months

 

September 30, 2024

Today marks six months since Ron passed. [deep breath] I thought I should record some of my thoughts, but I'm unsure where to start. 

It was a lousy summer, and not because he wasn't here. The heat was brutal. The attempt to drill a new well was less than a resounding success, as was my garden. 

Then again, my cousin L and I have been in constant contact, much the way we were as girls growing up. My friends have called every day to make sure all is well and I'm not lying dead on the floor being eaten by my heathen cat. I'm writing again, although on a reduced schedule since all the chores that keep the manor running smoothly now fall on me. (That is not a complaint - I like to mow!)

This is not the first time I've lived alone. I was living alone when Ron picked me up to go to his sister's birthday cookout and then he stayed for thirty years. Seriously - he brought me home and he never left. We had a lot of fun. 

The truth is, as his health declined over the last ten years, I was being prepared to be on my own again. He was diligent in teaching me how to use tools, make repairs, and construct things like the garden racks. I can't say that I enjoy doing some maintenance items without him stepping me through the process, but he taught me rather well. Those things I can't do I at least have a working knowledge of so I won't get cheated by, oh, say, an auto mechanic. It's difficult for me to ask for help and it's infuriating when those who say "call me if you need help" never show up when I ask. I know I need to learn to do it myself and move on. 

All-in-all I'm doing fine, but I miss his presence. I miss early mornings watching the weather while we had coffee. I miss sitting on the patio with him or him joining me in the garden to enjoy being outside. 

Ron lived with pain these past few years and it wasn't easy to know that. But his spirit was strong as was his will. He didn't give up until they said "cancer" for the third time, this time in his lung. He couldn't take any more. I can't fault him for that. 

I suppose I'll mark different days as the years pass. Birthdays and anniversaries to be sure, but also those days that became special to just us. And I'll live through them all not because he would expect it of me but because I expect it of myself. His spirit is a beacon for me to follow and I know I'm never truly alone. 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com


KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, a writer's life, death of spouse, rural living, GLBT gay romance, Kindle romance, six months, belief, 

Sunday, September 22, 2024

The empty garden, first day of Autumn

September 22, 2024

Today is the first day of autumn, according to the calendar. According to the astronomical calendar, fall begins with the autumnal equinox, which happened at 8:43 AM in my neck of the woods.Today we will have equal minutes of day and night. Historically, we will also have rain, which we did in the middle of the night. Meteorologists use a different method (for everything or so it seems) based on temperatures. Astronomers base the equinox when the sun appears directly about the equator. Confused yet? 

In my area, the first day of autumn is the unofficial end to the gardening season. I went through the garden yesterday (it was a beautiful day to be outside) and pulled everything but the annual flowers. Those will be good until the first hard frost. Tomorrow, weather permitting, I'll transplant a few strawberry runners into the Greenstalk planter. 


This was a hard summer to live through. Ron passed, the garden was a bust, it became necessary to drill a new well, and I struggled to complete simple tasks. Now I'm looking at the empty garden and feeling grateful for the opportunity to plan for next year and a garden that will be very different from past years. Everything will be "new" except for the strawberry bed. 

This year, the end of the garden has created a clean canvas for me to repaint in shades of green, red, yellow, and white. I learned a lot from every failure this year, and with the few successes. Spaghetti squash? Never again! I'm sick of eating the stuff! 

I think having so many options may be detrimental in the long run. I don't need to plant many tomatoes now. Or cucumbers and peppers. I can grow different varieties of leafy greens. And herbs! I can grow all the herbs I want! I may even attempt onions again now that I know about short day vs. long day. Yes, it's a new way of gardening - gardening for one. 

But for today, I think I'll simply keep an eye on my empty garden, viewing it through the window. There's no point rushing the planning today. I'll save it for January when the seed catalogs are available. There's no better way to while away cold January than with a catalog and a cup of coffee. 

Try it sometime! 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com


Between the Keys, KC Kendricks, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, gardening, Autumn, autumnal equinox, LGBT gay, future tense, Greenstalk, a writer's life

Friday, September 20, 2024

New cover and title reveal: Once in October

September 20, 2024

The death of a loved one is never easy. It drags at the soul. I thought I'd find solace in writing, but I rushed to it which had the opposite effect. I needed time that I didn't give myself. 

I'm writing again, slowly, and it feels a lot better. The words don't come easy in every session, but they do come. I'm relieved. 

It started with December Promise, which was followed by Hot August Comes, September Morning, and July Heat. It occurred to me I'm off to a good start in creating a collection of by the month stories. Currently, I'm working on an October piece that I hope I can finish and publish before the end of October. It's difficult to refrain from stressing about it, but it will be as it will be. This is the year I need to give myself a pass on many things.

With that said, I did get a cover made! 

This story is set in Centerville as is Bored, Stroked, and Blueprinted, Memphis, and July Heat. Central to the Centerville stories is a muscle car garage and much like the Marionville collection features the characters in previous stories. Yes, I like to build my own little communities and play in them. 

Being a classic/muscle car enthusiast, the Centerville collection gives me a chance to show a piece of American automotive history, too. 

I have working titles for February, March, and April, and I need to flip a coin and decide which May and June titles work best. That likely won't happen until I've started writing those stories and the characters speak to me about it. I've wracked my brain for a November title and I'm betting that will be the last of the collection to come to life. Not all of these planned stories will be set in Centerville. At least, I don't think they will. It's a writer's prerogative to change her/his mind. 

And the car in this story? It's a 1970 Ford Torino, my first husband's car. I remember that car with more fondness than I do the man. Go figure. 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com


KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, GLBT romance, Kindle romance novels, series romance, Ford Torino, October, writers on writing, a writer's life


Tuesday, September 10, 2024

Watching men work

 

September 10, 2024

WHINE ALERT!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell is that in your backyard, you ask? 

It's been a strange year. It was last September (2023) when my husband showed the first little signs that something was going on with him. It was over a year ago we began to contact different companies to drill a new well. I'm fucking tired. 

I've needed a new well for quite some time. I have a cistern (Thank God!) and it has served me well for decades. However, with Ron's situation he had become unable to check the water level in the cistern and to take the required actions if we needed to purchase a load of water. If something happened to me, this would definitely be a problem for him. It may become a problem for me as I get older. Who knows for sure? Making life easier is generally a good thing to do. 

Soooooooooooo.... the well drillers are here and that orange mess of wet clay is what is coming up out of the hole as they drill. 

It's very distracting. 

Instead of being about writer-ish things, I've been sitting in my sunroom office with the binoculars watching the guys work. Then again, watching a couple of men work is its own reward. 

    _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
Visit my bookshelf at: 

Social media links:
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks


KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, LGBTQ gay romance, m/m romance, kindle romance, a writer's life, well drillers, rural living, contemporary gay romance, water for life

Wednesday, September 4, 2024

September Morning - available now


 September Morning by KC Kendricks
Contemporary gay romance (stand-alone)
No AI was used in the creation of this story
$1.99
 
Jagger Davis, JD to his friends, takes a summer sabbatical at picturesque Sandbridge Beach in Virginia to enjoy some sun, surf, sleep, and solitude. Arriving at a rented cottage, JD finds sun and surf, but the cottage next-door houses six fun-loving guys determined to include him in their summer activities. It’s quickly evident JD won’t have time to feel lonely.
 
Nate Fischer is one of a group of friends who spend every summer at Sandbridge. An IT specialist, Nate’s taking a few weeks off before his next assignment sends him out to sea for months. He introduces himself to the new neighbor and invites JD to the first bonfire of the season.
 
JD fends off advances from Nate’s roommates as the two men grow close. JD harbors a secret in his past, one he worries Nate won’t accept. When Nate’s job abruptly calls him away, JD realizes his mistake in not giving his summer lover a fair chance. He must convince Nate he’ll be waiting when Nate returns - if Nate still wants him.
 
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_
 
SEPTEMBER MORNING
Available at:
 
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E1ZFGGM
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01E1ZFGGM
Amazon CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01E1ZFGGM
Amazon AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B01E1ZFGGM
 
Apple/iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1098476445
 
Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/september-morning-kc-kendricks/1122960527
Rakuten/Kobo: http://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/september-morning-3
Universal link to additional online vendors: https://books2read.com/u/38oGrb
 
For excerpts and more: https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/september-morning-by-kc-kendricks.html

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_
 KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html
My home on the web- Between the Keys: http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html
 Social media links:
twitter.com/kckendricks
facebook.com/kckendricks
 
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Monday, August 26, 2024

Ebb and flow - it's not steady or predictable


August 26, 2024

I've been neglecting my blog. I think it's all part of the ebb and flow of grieving the loss of my husband. Some things that I thought would get easier seem to be more difficult and vice versa. Suffice it to say this is a strange time for me. 

I knew yesterday that today might be a problem. Most of my chores are done and what remains can't be accomplished yet as I'm waiting on other people. I like to stay busy and keep up on my chores. If I fall too far behind, I may never catch up. 

Having nothing of consequence to do might seem like heaven to a lot of people, but I'm not geared that way. Having to wait for others makes me restless. These are my chores and projects, and I know they don't attach the same importance to my projects as I do. And so we wait.

"Go write," I tell myself, but I know better than to force the words when I'm so focused on other things. Even writing this blog entry is challenging. 

Is it unreasonable to attempt to control the ebb and flow of events in my life? Perhaps I should aim for a 50/50 split between managing and just letting the rivers run. 

And maybe I should go plop my ass on the old Husqvarna and make a pass through the woods to keep the briers from taking over. Yeah, that might be the best plan to get me rolling on the day.

_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com


KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, m/m romance, LGBT contemporary gay romance, a writer's life, widow, ebb and flow, blogging, grief management

Friday, August 2, 2024

Stepping back to refocus - new video

 August 2, 2024

Guess who managed to do another video? Yep. I got one finished and it's posted. This one is called "Stepping Back," and in it I talk about how sometimes I need to get my hands busy on a project so I can clear my head and refocus on a story. I think I'm going to leave this one up - comments be damned. 

I hope you'll check it out! 

KC 



Sunday, July 14, 2024

Does it need comment?


July 14, 2024

Yesterday, former president Donald Trump held a political rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, and was nearly assassinated. I learned about it when a girlfriend called. She signed off to watch the news. I was luckier. I went to YouTube because I knew multiple reports with first-hand videos would be posted, and discovered Mike Morgan had just started a live stream. I was a little surprised to learn he actually attended the rally and was there when the shots were fired. I listened to his first-hand account and not what the news media spewed forth. I hope YouTube allows him to leave the video online. 

Does this evil thing, this deliberate attempt to take a life, need comment? Perhaps it does. 

It is not "okay" to murder a person simply because you don't care for their opinions. It is not "okay" to murder a person because you don't like the political party to which they espouse. Don't like the color of a person's hair? Don't like the shoes they wear? Shake the sand off your sandals and walk away. 

I'm more aligned with the Libertarian point of view than with the Asses and the Elephants. Libertarians feel that personal freedoms and personal responsibilities are important. Mainstream politics not only divide us, but restrain us. We need to break free of that bondage because that's what our obsession with politics is - bondage. Our personal liberties, our freedoms, are paramount. 

I'm not a Trump supporter or a Trump hater. The man exists and he's living his life. Fair enough. 

I find it astonishing (and maybe I shouldn't be surprised) that so many people believe it would be acceptable to assassinate a former president. Don't they know what that will do? Assassinating this man will elevate him to the status of JKF, RFK, and MLK. Just the attempt elevates him to stand beside Ronald Regan. I doubt that was the intention, but here we are. 

The next few months will prove educational. My plan is to observe the people around me and tread carefully. I will not engage in political debate. I fear if I do, I may lose respect for some of those people I have considered friends. 

Yes, it's a sad day that it has come to this. Hate has brought us here. I thought we were better than this. 

KC Kendricks


Thursday, July 4, 2024

Independence Day 2024


 July 4, 2024

To my late husband and me, Independence Day was a day of family and reflection. Ron enlisted in the Navy as the Vietnam conflict was ramping up. In his day, his father landed on a Normandy beach. His uncles, brothers, and many cousins also served. We didn't go overboard with flying flags and plastering the homestead with red, white, and blue decorations, but instead, we quietly observed the day. It feels different this year with him gone. 

What isn't different is me sharing my favorite patriotic Internet guy. What isn't different is me bemoaning the fact that no matter what angle I look at the photo from, I can't see the goods. 

Okay. I get it that this isn't exactly in the spirit of the day, but if that photo doesn't make you want to celebrate, you need to lighten up! 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, Independence Day, LGBT gay romance, m/m romance, Kindle romance novels, guy with flag, celebrate, my opinion

Friday, June 28, 2024

And once again


June 28, 2024

Life never goes as I plan, or even hope. I've made a little headway on the writing front, but not enough to feel good about it, much less brag. This June now ending has been a whirlwind of activities I didn't see coming down the pike at me. The major heat wave that sent us to scorched earth status did not help either. 

Don't get me wrong because I'm not complaining about getting lunch and dinner invites. I'm not complaining about the temps cresting the 100F mark. Deuce had a bit to say about it over at Deuce's Day, but he has black fur and he was not a happy puppy. I think it's very nice of "my" people that they feel the need to check on me and make sure I'm okay. Ron's been gone for three months, and they care. But it's only possible to write if I'm at the computer. 

Again - I am not complaining. 

I knew getting into a new groove would be difficult, but I looked forward to having some structure back in my day by now. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me to relax and go with the flow instead of putting myself on a schedule. Who knows? 

I do know that going with the flow isn't easy for me. There are so many projects up in the air that I think I'm losing my mind! The new well isn't drilled (thanks to a hold up in the county permits office), the Charger hasn't gone in for an oil change (it's not overdue so not critical), the John Deere 1023 hasn't been serviced (simple filter changes), the woodyard is still a mess, and the shed is only halfway reorganized. And there are still items to be completed to finalize Ron's estate. I know it will all get accomplished in due time, but I'm stressing over the mountain all that has created. One step at a time, right? 

None of this is insurmountable. I simply need to make a phone call to the garage, stop by the John Deere dealership to purchase the filters, and go to Lowe's or Home Depot for some heavy-duty hooks and brackets for in the shed. 

But now I have to go get ready to meet a friend for lunch and some retail therapy. It looks like this blog post may be all I get written today. Go with the flow, right? 

    _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
Visit my bookshelf at: 

Social media links:
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks


KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, LGBT gay, Kindle romance, rural living, life after loss, family, gardening, John Deere, Dodge Charger

Saturday, June 15, 2024

Video: A Patio Chat

June 15, 2024

This week now ending has been full of activity. There have been the usual chores to do as well as a few extras. In preparation for the new well, a local gentleman I've known for years came and doused. He found the same spot his father did many years ago. I do believe there is something to it. 

The drill manager came and went twice, taking measurements and such. He brought good news that I hope holds true. They hope to set up the drill rig this coming week. The "handyman" building a new deck for one of the cousins came and looked at the cistern. He'll clean and reseal it after the well is up and running. It may seem senseless to keep the cistern ready to go, but if the new well fails, I need a backup plan in place. Living on a severe water restriction is not any fun. 

I worked on the writing, too. It feels good to be back at it even in a smaller capacity. When I needed to take a break, I made two video segments - a garden tour and a patio chat. Once I got into editing them, I decided to tack the garden tour onto the end of the patio chat since it's not all that wonderful. Hopefully, I'll shoot a better yard and garden update next week. 

The patio chat segment is okay. I'm learning more every time I make a video, so bear with me. I want to keep these videos "real" and not super edited and slick looking. Making videos is not my job. It's merely a hobby. I think it's fine if they look real. Will I get better at it? I hope so, but I don't want to go all slick and professional. Keep it simple and keep it real is the modus operandi for this.

The video is below if you'd like to view it, and if you want to subscribe to my YouTube channel and help the channel grow, I'd appreciate it.

*** Video was removed 7/1/24 due to a safety concern***





    _*_*_*_*_*_*_
 KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
Visit my bookshelf at: 

Social media links:
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys



KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, YouTube videos, author chat, country living, m/m romance, time management, black Labrador Retriever, contemporary gay romance, LGBT romance, Kindle romance books, gardening



Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Forward progress!


June 4, 2024

Forward progress was made today! I was determined to accomplish two things and both of them worked out great. I incorporated an idea into one of the WIPs and I fleshed out the premise and character bios for an idea I've been kicking around for a fourth story set in Centerville. I'm calling it a WIN!. 

Maybe it was a reflection of the decal I put up above the patio doors this morning. "She believed she could so she did." It was an impulse purchase but it's something I need to remember. I need to set my mind to a task and do it. And maybe  blogging yesterday about my unrest helped bring what I want into better focus. 

Since Ron passed, I've been procrastinating on a lot of fronts. I've handled those things that were urgent, but let other things, like the writing, slide. It's been bothering me which is why I'm blogging about it again. I don't like procrastination. I don't like that I fell into that trap. And yet I know I need to allow myself some leeway. The death of a spouse changes everything. 

Ron encouraged me to write. He was amazed, and a bit envious, that I could write not one story, but over seventy stories. In the early writing years, he sent me to the computer while he put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher. Times change but the memory of the ways he supported me remain. Now I need to remember his voice saying, "don't you have a book to finish?'

Yes, Ron, I believe I do. It may still take a while, but at least for tonight, I believe I'll actually get it finished. 

    _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
Visit my bookshelf at: 

Social media links:
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys



KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, romance for Kindle, writers on writing, loss of spouse, procrastination, gaining focus, character bios, LGBT romance

Monday, June 3, 2024

I made it to here

June 3, 2024

I sat down at the computer this afternoon with every intention of doing something productive. 

I broke out in a cold sweat. 

Having now stared at the monitor for the last little while, I wonder if it's too soon after Ron's death to entertain the idea of getting back to writing. Then again, I remind myself that grieving for him has no end, and I need to get on with it. I know this because I still grieve for my father, and he passed in 1983.

I want to write again. I have more than a few ideas knocking about in my brain, but sitting down at the computer shoves them into a box and closes the lid. It's very strange. 

The past two months have been a whirlwind of completing task after task after task. I've reached the point where there are only a few loose threads to tie off and my beloved husband's life-on-paper will be consigned to a folder in a drawer. Perhaps this knowledge has me unsettled again. 

Sometimes introspection can be burdensome. It's good to know yourself but it's also good, at least for me, to be able to set concerns aside and write. I don't want 2024 to be the year I don't complete a book, but if it is, I'll know the reason. 

I'm sure some authors would advise me to pour my emotional unrest, my grief, into a book. That's good advice. Summer is here and the afternoons will be too hazy, hot, and humid to be outside doing anything more strenuous than sitting on the patio with a fan blowing on me. My air conditioned office would be a good place to hang out from about eleven o'clock until about six o'clock. But baring my soul when I'm not really in touch with it seems like a bad idea.

But like always, blogging has helped me focus. Blogging is like thinking with my fingers. I think I'm going to wrap this up and go back to one of the manuscripts I have started and see what "clicks" for me. After all, I made it to here so I may as well keep typing. 

*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com


Between the Keys, KC Kendricks, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, LGBT romance, romance for Kindle, writers on writing, authors, focus, writer's block, time management




Sunday, May 26, 2024

Working my way to...somewhere


May 26, 2024

Everyone, whether they admit it or not, has thoughts about the "what ifs" in life. We wonder what we would do in a certain scenario. Living with Ron's many health issues that developed over the last several years, I freely admit I spent many a sleepless night pondering the Big Question. What will I do if he dies? The quick answer to the question is that I will carry on. 

That's what I've been doing, but it hasn't looked the way I thought it would. I've been doing the outside work for many years - the mowing, weed-whacking, gardening, and managing the firewood. I enjoy being outside and some of what gets done can hardly be called "work." Hopping on the John Deere x370 to mow is a lot of fun. So I say! 

Years ago, I started to post short videos on YouTube so that Ron could get a look at what was going on in those areas his power chair couldn't access. He appreciated seeing them on the large screen TV he assured me he NEEDED. (Yes, I had a few private laughs at the man but a big TV is an easy indulgence.)

Now I'm at the point where I'm not sure if I want to continue to post videos. I made one yesterday that was a quick garden tour and a bit of a chat from inside the garden. Will I make more? I don't know. Every day unfolds differently than I plan as I sit and sip the morning cup of coffee. 

So here is the video for those who want to see what I look like. Next time, if there is a next time, I'll make sure I'm not all hot and sweaty before I turn the camera on myself! I'll record any "chat" part first and then do the work. And I'll be sure to smile for a good thumbnail. Even an old lady can learn new tricks!


***Video removed 7/1/24 due to safety concerns***


_*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com



KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, gay romance, LGBT gay, Kindle romance, m/m romance, gardening, country lifestyle, rural living, John Deere x370, YouTube videos

Saturday, April 27, 2024

Do I feel the way I'm supposed to feel?

April 27, 2024

Some dates burn themselves onto our souls. For me, March 30, 2024, is one of them. That's the day Ron died. How was I supposed to feel at his passing? How am I supposed to feel today, almost a month later? 

The late Jim Morrison (of The Doors) penned some lyrics way back in 1967, or thereabout, that seem apropos to the way I feel today. I mentioned these words in a previous post, but I can't get them out of my head. 

Strange days have found us and through their strange hours
We linger alone, bodies confused, memories misused
As we run from the day to a strange night of stone

Back in January, I thought my strange days would pass, but instead, they got stranger. My indestructible Ron, who had triumphed over every adversity, passed away. A cancer we didn't know he had took him. How am I supposed to feel about that? 

Getting in touch with myself is on my mind. Who will I be now that Ron is gone? Being single is something I've done before. Being a "widow" is not. What's a widow supposed to do? WHO is a widow supposed to be? Who am I after thirty years of being Ron's queen? And he did treat me like a queen. He and I alone together were people no one else got to see and we liked it that way. I will never be that woman again. She is gone, already faded from memory.

My future is a blank canvas. I can paint it with all the colors of my choosing without heeding the suggestions of others. Who I will be is up to me. Society will view me as a widow, as partner-less, but that's not the full story. Ron will always be with me. His counsel was timeless, ageless, and I'm only physically alone. 

Should I sit home and mourn him? He constantly encouraged me to go with friends to those places his disability prevented him from accompanying me. He wanted me to experience life even when he could not. He was not a jealous man, but a generous one. 

I can't be the grieving widow who sits home alone. I may become one of those crazy widows with multiple pets, however. No, I will be home when I want to be home, and out in the world when I want to be out in the world. My vision of "widowhood" allows me to be who I want to be and do what I want to do. Those are the decisions I need to make, day-by-day, and they will be my own. 

Is that the way I'm supposed to feel? It's the way I DO feel.

    _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
Visit my bookshelf at: 

Social media links:
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys



KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, widowhood, death of spouse, country lifestyle, rural living, grief, m/m romance, contemporary LGBT gay romance, romance fiction, Kindle romance

Saturday, April 13, 2024

I won't say the words

April 13, 2024

Many years ago, on August 20, 2017, to be exact, I wrote these words: "...the last thing I ever want to say to anyone is 'I used to be a writer'."  In that blog post, I bemoaned how little time I had to write. I was working full-time, caring for my ailing stepfather, my mother was in a nursing home, and my husband's health was not robust. I did not have the time or energy to continue to write at the level I was accustomed to. Fast forward to today, and I'm adrift. 

But I refuse to say those words. 

Ron's passing has brought seismic changes to my life. In fact, my life as I knew it for the last thirty years is over. I'm now in a time of transition and, I suspect, a time of reinvention. 

I don't anticipate being able to practice my craft for at least the next few weeks. There are "business" matters to attend to. I need to cancel his cell phone, get the Internet transferred into my name, sell his van, and settle all medical accounts. There are also more personal things to attend to as well. His beloved Strat has been given to his son, and it hurt my heart to part with it. 

I'm free now. My days belong to me. It's rather daunting, too. The gardening season is just around the corner. There will soon be mowing to do and outside projects to complete. And there will be time to write. 

First and foremost, I will be kind to myself. I will give myself time to adjust to living alone again. It's been thirty years since the last time I did, and I'm far better equipped for it at this stage of my life. In many ways, I've been in training for it for the last few years as his health declined more rapidly. 

So how do I want to reinvent myself as a woman on her own? Do I want to follow the musings I've had in the middle of many sleepless nights? Or now that the time has arrived, do I want to strike out in directions never considered? 

The next few months will likely bring a few surprises to my door. I hope I'm ready for them. 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com


KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, death of spouse, LGBT gay romance, m/m romance, Kindle romance, on being a writer, life changes, Fender Strat, family, summer, gardening, 

Saturday, April 6, 2024

Privilege and burden

April 6, 2024

One week. It seems a lot longer.

There is a hole in my life that RC inhabited. It may never seal over, but I see signs it will close. I've put down an area rug so Deuce can be more comfortable on the hardwood floor. I've rearranged the furniture now that I don't need to allow for RC's mobility limitations. Rearranging the furniture allowed me to bring my grandmother's Eastlake rocker back to the living room. 

It feels strange that such a small thing as having my grandmother's rocker back in my living space would have such a big impact. Being in the house with just Deuce and Loki has me reflecting on how much RC's health impacted the way we lived. Should I lie and say I feel no satisfaction in moving everything to where I want it? No, I will not. 

I was twenty-six when my father died. The hospital called and told Mom she should come in "right away." Dad was gone when we arrived. My mother uttered these words: "I'm free."  It shocked my young self but now I understand. No matter how much you love your spouse, caring for them through illness and end of life is both privilege and burden. 

I don't regret the thirty years we spent together. We had good times before he had the first cancer. After that, we did the best we could do. 

Will I be lonely? I have been lonely. Everywhere I went, I went alone because it was so difficult for him to get in and out of a vehicle. That will not change. 

Will I work harder around the house and yard? I was already doing everything. That will not change. 

But there will still be a hole in my life. His steadying presence is gone. His knowledge is gone, although I learned a lot from him. 

Like my mother, I'm free, and that, too, is both privilege and burden. 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, loss of spouse, Kindle romance, life changes, Rayne Forrest, rural living, Eastlake, living alone

Monday, March 25, 2024

A life in limbo



March 25, 2024

My partner in life is not well. We've been dealing with a serious decline in his health since November 2023. Now we have an answer, but it's not one we ever wanted to hear. He has a mass in his lung. We know this but we're still living in limbo. We don't have a definitive answer on what it is, but I think we know. What the next step will be is also unclear. I've known the man for over thirty years and I can't say for sure he'll seek treatment. 

He is tired.

It's difficult to imagine the exhaustion of spirit a person must experience to reach the point where one does not wish to seek treatment for a serious disease. I cannot force him in this. It has to be his choice. All I can do is deal with what comes afterward. 

Whether or not he seeks treatment, our lives will exist in a sort of limbo. Any future we dream will be simply castles in the air, ones that float away on the next ill wind. If we can dream at all. 

He will need care I feel ill-prepared to render. I'm not a nurse nor do I aspire to be one. I'm sure I will have help in the beginning, but it will soon fade away as siblings return to their lives, lives that have intact futures. The summer I'd hoped for, where I tend my garden and we sit in the shade as Lord and Lady of the Manor will not happen. It was a small dream, but it was mine. 

How long will we endure this limbo? That is in God's hands. We pray for healing and yet we accept that death may come sooner rather than later. We do not know which is preferable, our limbo or the passing of his life. If it comes to the latter, he will finally be at peace. This is the way of life. 

    _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
Visit my bookshelf at: 

Social media links:
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys



KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, seasons of life, cancer, death, limbo, partnerships, prayer, inevitability, price of love

Monday, March 4, 2024

You might think...many things


March 4, 2024

March 4, 1975

It's been an interesting life, so far. The clue that those who rode with me were in for a bit of a ride came on March 4, 1975. I left school and drove my 1969 Camaro to a local department store, where a man opened the car door and shoved a gun to my head. 

I was a schoolgirl. If someone did that today, the surprise might be on them. I'm armed now. You might think I would be vehemently opposed to guns, but no. I embrace my Second Amendment rights. 

And so began a string of unfortunate events. My first marriage ended, my first home burned to the ground, my father died. I could go on but I won't. 

You might think these things have made me bitter. They have not. As pictured, I ended up with a restored (and better) car. I ended up with a new (and better) home. I still miss my father, but I had the gift of his time. He spent time with me. We bonded over cars. My first marriage collapsed but that led me to the Lord of the Manor and a step up. 

There is an old saying that every cloud has a silver lining. The first one was waiting for me forty-nine years ago today. I know my life will have more challenges, and I know that each one will bring me to an even better place. You might think I'm an idiot for thinking that, but I have faith. 

*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, 1969 Camaro, faith, LGBT gay romance, gay romance for Kindle, m/m romance, life, rural living, life experiences, stolen vehicles

Saturday, February 17, 2024

A snowy morning can be inspirational


February 17, 2024

Last night's weather forecast was abysmal - four to eight inches of the white stuff was coming. As usual, the weather guessers were off. The measurement equaled a normal-for-us of two and a half inches. I was happy about that, let me tell you. I was so happy I wrote about it over at Holly Tree Manor/The Hideaway and set up a page for a series of snapshots I took this morning. 

Sometimes it's good to stop and look. My life is currently less than peaceful, but it was easy to forget everything as the sun topped the mountain and turned the woods into a winter wonderland. Hours later, it's still lovely. The wind is blowing the snow off the limbs in quick gusts which gives the appearance of snowfall. 

I think I needed this quiet morning to simply breathe. 

*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Between the Keys, KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, snow, peace, rural living, LGBT gay romance, m/m romance, Kindle romance books, gay lovers, forest dwellers, 

Thursday, February 8, 2024

When you need to shelve writing

February 8, 2024

It has been impossible to write. 

The last several weeks haven't been easy. The spousal unit's illness pretty much sucked the life out of me. Yeah, that's an exaggeration, so let's backtrack and say it sucked the JOY out of me. 

Why is that a problem for me? I can't write when I'm not happy. And I can't write dystopian gloom and doom on my best day! My stock in trade is getting to the point where you fall in love and are happy that you've met a special someone. 

The title of the current work-in-progress turned out to be The First of February. Needless to say, I missed the optimal time to release it. With RC needing care, I won't even get it finished this month. 

I'm sure some writers can power through and write every day of their lives regardless of what transpires around them. I wish I could do that instead of shelving a project until the current crisis is resolved. I hope today brings some relief. I'm writing this blog before we leave for a doctor's appointment to have his catheter removed. He's been uncomfortable in ways I can only imagine. 

It's times like these that make me question my dedication. WHY can't I seem to power through and write? WHY does my life have to be in a certain order for the words to flow out? The more I look for an answer the less I seem to be certain of, but one thing seems clear - the universe did not like it that I was on a roll. WHY is that? 

I will finish the story and maybe give it a "soft" launch. The time to hit the promo circuit with it will be next February. Or I could hold it for almost a year. (Probably not.) 

These roadblocks happen in life and we need to muddle through them. And I need to get back to writing. Maybe this morning will let the stars align and it will happen. 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com


Between the Keys, KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, m/m romance, romance fiction, Kindle romance, LGBT gay romance, rural living, a writer's life, crisis management

Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Jim Morrison was correct


 January 30, 2024

Strange days have found us
Strange days have tracked us down
They're going to destroy
Our casual joys

There are times when it's impossible to write. A week ago yesterday, I called for an ambulance to transport the spousal unit to the hospital. It's been downhill since then. 

I've always been annoyed when I read posts from other authors about the trials and tribulations in their lives. Oh, woe is me! This last week has me thinking about whether or not we need to overshare. I think we do not. 

No one's life is free of strife. It comes to all of us, albeit in different guises. Right now, my strife is being the type of caregiver that is in complete opposition to my personality. I lack the compassion for such activity. 

These are strange days for me. There is time to write, little capsules of time when I can escape into the world of my creation. Those moments don't last long enough. Reality intrudes, calling for me to bring a bottle of water, or a cup of coffee. And it's just enough to kill the joy of writing. 

Will these days pass? I pray they do, but I see no end in sight. Should I give up writing to care for someone who refuses to agree with me on even the smallest point? I was sick last night but even that didn't generate a respite. I went to bed early but kept being disturbed by demands. And I repeat - I was sick. Should I happily care for someone who cares so little for me? 

Perhaps my writing should take a different turn. Maybe I should reach out to everyone who finds themselves in a like circumstance and tell them it's okay to be angry and frustrated that strange days have tracked us down. It could be that my words will help another whose days are stranger than mine. 

One way or another, my strange days will pass. I'll get through them and be better equipped for the next bit of strangeness that comes my way. Experience tells me this. 

My days of having the spousal unit at home with me are numbered. Sooner or later he will need to go into a care facility and, whether he likes it or not, it will be before I'm worn out from caring for him. That's the real danger in being a caregiver. You can give too much of yourself away and then you need care. I've seen it happen and I recognize it as a pitfall to avoid. I will avoid it because love includes self-love, and sometimes that has to come first. 

*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:
Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys
Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com
My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com


KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, self-love, caregivers, contemporary gay romance, LGBT gay fiction, romance fiction for Kindle, rural living, a writer's life, 



Thursday, January 25, 2024

What have you missed?


January 25, 2024

"We are like books. Most people only see our cover, the minority read only the introduction, many people believe the critics. Few will ever know our content." - found on X