I sat down at the computer this afternoon with every intention of doing something productive.
I broke out in a cold sweat.
Having now stared at the monitor for the last little while, I wonder if it's too soon after Ron's death to entertain the idea of getting back to writing. Then again, I remind myself that grieving for him has no end, and I need to get on with it. I know this because I still grieve for my father, and he passed in 1983.
I want to write again. I have more than a few ideas knocking about in my brain, but sitting down at the computer shoves them into a box and closes the lid. It's very strange.
The past two months have been a whirlwind of completing task after task after task. I've reached the point where there are only a few loose threads to tie off and my beloved husband's life-on-paper will be consigned to a folder in a drawer. Perhaps this knowledge has me unsettled again.
Sometimes introspection can be burdensome. It's good to know yourself but it's also good, at least for me, to be able to set concerns aside and write. I don't want 2024 to be the year I don't complete a book, but if it is, I'll know the reason.
I'm sure some authors would advise me to pour my emotional unrest, my grief, into a book. That's good advice. Summer is here and the afternoons will be too hazy, hot, and humid to be outside doing anything more strenuous than sitting on the patio with a fan blowing on me. My air conditioned office would be a good place to hang out from about eleven o'clock until about six o'clock. But baring my soul when I'm not really in touch with it seems like a bad idea.
But like always, blogging has helped me focus. Blogging is like thinking with my fingers. I think I'm going to wrap this up and go back to one of the manuscripts I have started and see what "clicks" for me. After all, I made it to here so I may as well keep typing.
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My home on the web- Between the Keys:
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at:
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html
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