The Kendricks 1300

January 4, 2026

It seems this new year has already brought a milestone. Thirteen hundred posts here at Between the Keys. Never did I imagine, way back in January 2008, that I'd still be blogging on this platform. I wasn't at all sure I would like writing blogs, but here we are at thirteen hundred. 

It's been a while since I posted number twelve hundred in September 2023. So much has happened since then. My beloved Ron passed from this life, and I've settled into retirement on my little manor. Both have been life-altering. My retirement days are much as I envisioned, but losing Ron was like living in a black hole. Enough time has passed and I'm almost back to my "old" self. 

I posted the 2025 Retrospective just two days ago, so I won't repeat everything today. I invite you to go back and check out that post about a look back at the past year. 

This post is a simple one - let's mark the milestone! As I write this post, tomorrow will be Sunday, January 4, 2026, and the last day of the New Year's holiday. This post will go up in the wee hours. I'll enjoy Sunday, because Monday is the big back-to-work day, even for writers. I'll be posting promos for January After Dark on Monday, something I postponed due to the Christmas/New Year's holidays. Along with that, I will resume work on the next story (or two). 

Will there be a Kendricks 1400? I hope so, but if I've learned anything recently, it's that the universe does not respect plans made too far in advance. Knowing that gives me the proper tools to work with going forward. I wonder where I'll actually end up? 

     _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/KCKendricks

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, milestone, future writings, m/m romance, LGBT gay romance, loss of spouse, planning ahead, rural living, retrospectives, Kindle romances, blogging

You can call me Wimpy

January 3, 2026

I think it's official. I have become a wimp. 

Our winter started early. By December 21, 2025. it was January cold. We've already had one major wind event, too. It's not our normal. Maybe that's why I'm calling myself wimpy. 

My home office has been in the sunroom, which my late husband built, for over a decade. It started out as a simple porch that needed some new decking. Then he suggested we put a roof over it, which we did. When that was done, the man said we should screen it in so we could sit out there in the evenings. So we did that, and you guessed it. He wanted to add windows. So now I have a "sunroom." I'm not complaining because he did a great job on it. We enjoyed it for years until we screened in the back patio and I moved my office into the sunroom at that point. 

Sooooo... It's cold. With windows on three sides, heating the sunroom can be problematic. During the aforementioned wind event, I couldn't work out there. I couldn't get the temperature up in the room. I capitulated. For the first time ever, I moved my desk and computer to the living room. 

And you know what? The location isn't bad. I'm going to stay in the living room until mid-March. It'll give me time to do a thorough cleaning in the sunroom. It has also answered a very important question - new desktop or new laptop in 2026? The answer is new laptop. It's a lot more portable than my desk! 

This little adjustment made feel wimpy. This is the first year I've been bothered by the cold. I freely admit to disliking really hot weather, but temps in the 20Fs and 30Fs have never been a problem for me. I guess it's a first step to feeling my age. 

I don't think I like it much. 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, rural living, an author's life, writing, wind, winter, wimps, sunrooms, building, aging

The 2025 Retrospective

 January 2, 2026

I'm not sure what to say about the year 2025. I survived it, but I'm not sure I did it with any sort of grace and style. I tried some new things, I got two books published (The First of February and January After Dark), and I did a lot of physical labor around the manor. This was the year of tree removal, burning brush, and splitting firewood. At least I'm staying warm. 

Writing these retrospectives is never easy for me. They remind of those things I wanted to do but didn't have the time, or energy, to accomplish. Nevertheless, here we go.

January 2025

January 2025 found western Maryland in the throes of an old-fashioned winter. It was cold and snowy. Deuce and I were stuck inside so we made the most of it. The dog caught up on his sleep, and I worked on organization and writing. I wanted to finish The First of February before the first of February, but it didn't happen. 

Memories of where I was in January 2024 intruded. It was in January 2024 that I knew Ron didn't have a lot of time left.

February 2025

Finally! The First of February went live. It was quite a relief to accomplish that. It was also quite a relief that my cousin was home to come to my rescue when the battery in my car went dead. I decided that a story I wrote and originally published with the late Christianne France was worth putting out on Kindle Unlimited. It was one of a series of five stories, but the one I wrote in its entirety to meet our deadline due to her health. A Night on the Town went live on Kindle Unlimited. I also moved my first two KC Kendricks books, Surrendered Victory and Passion's Victory, to Kindle Unlimited (for all the good that did me). 

March through August 2025

I began work on a new manuscript, and I planted a lot of seeds in hopes of a 2025 garden. March 30th rolled around, the first anniversary of Ron's death. I stalled, and stayed stalled for months. After a lot of deliberating, I put all the Rayne Forrest titles on Kindle Unlimited (for all the good that did).

September - October 2025

One of life's twists and turns came to me in October. One of my oldest and dearest friends suddenly stepped back into my life. We've had dinner together a few times, and it's been good for me to talk with someone who knew me way back in the 1970s. 

I took the leap and put all my titles on Audible. I do not like the AI voice, but the service was provided free to me, so I went with it. I worked on January After Dark, tended to the end of the gardening season, and got more serious about making videos. I had survived a second summer without Ron and somehow life got easier. Once into October, my cousin and I got serious about laying in firewood. 

November 2025

Work continued on January After Dark and on a new story that is untitled as of this writing. I learned more about editing videos and, if I must say so myself, some of them are pretty good for a rank amateur. 

Coming home from a trivia game night, I was run down by a deer. Yes, she hit me. I have a small ding in a fender to prove she hit me, and a cracked nosepiece that I'm not going to have repaired until warmer weather returns. It could have been much, much worse, but the airbag did not deploy. 

Thanksgiving was celebrated was celebrated at my cousin's house. I started to burn firewood, something I normally don't do until mid-December. 

December 2025

January After Dark went live! I can still call myself a writer. I read an email from Amazon that said I could go back and put DRM on any books I'd not already put on, so I did that. I gleefully did that.

The weather left a lot to be desired, and I stayed busy feeding the woodstove. I also made a few videos, but December is a quiet time of the Year. There wasn't a lot to record here at the manor. This was my second Christmas without Ron. 

And that brings me to this new year, the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand Twenty Six. I still miss Ron, every day, but it is better than it was. 

In a lot of ways, I've come full circle. I'm writing for ME. Screw the rules. Screw what a potential publisher wants. I've been at this a long time and I'm back to writing the story I want to read. I think that will make 2026 an interesting year.

KC/Rayne

The 2024 Retrospective

The 2023 Retrospective

The 2022 Retrospective

The 2021 Retrospective

The 2020 Retrospective

The 2019 Retrospective

The 2018 Retrospective

The 2017 Retrospective

The 2016 Retrospective

The 2015 Retrospective

The 2014 Retrospective

The 2013 Retrospective

The 2012 Retrospective

     _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/KCKendricks

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, contemporary romance, m/m romance, Kindle romance, country living, romance novels, single life, a writer's life, life after loss, new year

And yet another Thanksgiving

November 27, 2025

Ten years ago I wrote what is still a rare poem for me. I've since published a short volume of poems that is available only on Kindle Unlimited, and it's been years since I've added anything to it. Writing poems is not my strong suite, but every once in a while, something comes to mind. 

This year I'm revisiting that early Thanksgiving poem.  My days are very different now. I'm on my own. But looking back, I was on my own even when my parents and grandparents lived. The fracturing of family began long ago but now the cousins and I are rebuilding our version of family. It doesn't look the same as when the two older generations were alive, but that's okay. Today, my family is more accepting, having learned those same lessons I was taught. We're kinder now.  

I wrote this poem after a solitary walk in the woods. I walked to steel myself for the day ahead, for the demands that would be made of me. It truly was "conform or be cast out" in those days. It did suck the air away from me. 

Today, the last verse has taken on a new meaning. The road does lead home to all that is mine, and with the passing of time, the path is truly mine. Having lived with unattainable demands, I now sit back and listen to the two younger generations and simply enjoy them for who they are. Our roots are entwined, but I put no pressure on them to bend in my direction. 

They are young trees. Let them grow where they will. Let their memories of Thanksgiving be full of air. 

_*_*_

Standing Guard

Long ago I tread a path
A misty woodland way
I had no company along the trek
So the trees could have their say

They spoke to me in silence
With movement seen not heard
And I replied in quiet kind
Walking without a word

The day ahead held demands
Devoid of mist and air
I could not whine or complain
Or do what trees don't dare

Beneath the ground unseen by all
Their roots do intertwine
Reminding me the path ahead
Leads home to all that's mine

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Thanksgiving, family, LGBT gay romance, Kindle romance, m/m romance, changing times, generations, a writer's life, new style family, poems, Just the Rain

KC Kendricks and Rayne Forrest now on Audible

 

September 10, 2025

Well, here's an update I wasn't sure I'd ever make. I've added all my books to Audible. Yea!

Why wasn't I sure about doing it? I don't really like the automated voice, but the plain truth is I can't afford to hire a reader. So there ya go. 

I'm actually glad I've finally taken the plunge if for no other reason than to add the audio book to my private library. 

I listened to the beginning of a few of the books and I confess, I was pleasantly surprised at how well the AI did. I haven't tried the 'read and listen' feature yet, but I will. 

Remember, if you already own the book, you can get the Audible book for half price. That's not a bad deal. 

One of these days, I'm going to be an old. old woman in a home, and I'm going to turn up the volume when I get to certain parts of my own books. I bet I'll get in a lot of trouble for that! 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Audible, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, sci-fi romance, LGBT, m/m romance, Kindle romance, shapeshifters, Amazon romance

On sale at Smashwords!

July 3, 2025

I joined in at the Smashwords July sale. With a few exceptions, all my books are 25% off, and those exceptions are 50% off.  

Go to Smashwords.com and search for "KC Kendricks". Be sure to use the quotation marks or you'll end up with a gazillion hits on KC. Were there that many KCs back in 2008? Nooooo. Think about that. There were no other Raynes when Rayne Forrest started in 2003, either. I searched it up on Amazon because if Amazon didn't pop with an author name, it wasn't in existence. I guess I'm flattered. 

But I digress...

Go to Smashwords and get a few deals for your Kindle! 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, m/m romance, LGBTQ gay, contemporary romance, Smashwords sale, Rayne Forrest, Kindle romance, social media, marketing, book sale, book discounts

The annoying question that will not go away

 June 12, 2025

Well, that was... what? Putting the Rayne Forrest titles on Kindle Unlimited has been a bust. No traction. It's very disappointing to the author side of me. 

A third of my life has been dedicated to writing, and the question I've been grappling with is no closer to a resolution. If I continue to write, how does it fit into my life NOW? 

When I was a newbie, more established authors said to write the story you want to read because you may be the only person to read it. This is true. 

When I was a newbie, more established authors said don't quit your day job because most writers can't live on their royalties. This is true. I made some pocket change but no where near enough to live on. 

When I was a newbie, more established authors said don't look at readers to validate your work. This is true. 

When I was a newbie, I couldn't imagine a time when I'd consider no longer writing. Here I am. 

My late husband fought cancer for twenty-four years, and he fought the good fight. I miss him every day, but we talked. Really talked. What about? About life after he was gone. He gave me a rare gift with his words. 

To say I've "rebuilt" my life is not precisely accurate. I've continued on in the life we built, but I'm adding individual touches in places I'd not anticipated. This is a good thing for me. I love the life we built and shared, and I love what I've added to it. 

These days, writing feels like making a choice between an intellectual practice and living my life. Which one do I feel is more important? 

Is this the question that won't go away, or the question with the answer I don't want to accept? 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, Rayne Forrest, LBGTQ gay romance, m/m romance, questions, romance author, Kindle romance, a writer's life, country living, social media, life decisions, loss of spouse

There are some changes afoot

May 20, 2025

After a lot of deliberation and arguing with myself, I decided to take the leap and put all the old Rayne Forrest books on Kindle Unlimited. 

Good move? Bad move? I guess we'll see. 

This morning, I pushed the buttons to remove them from all other online vendors, and I started to list them on Kindle Unlimited. Then it occurred to me I'd better wait a day for the removal process to complete. So that's where I am this morning - waiting. 

I think leaving those stories available on KU is a better option than pulling them down completely. Will there ever be another Rayne Forrest book? I don't know. I can't rule out the possibility even though I'm not currently entertaining that idea. The currents that run below the surface of my life often surprise me. 

That's  my news for today. Check out the Rayne Forrest booklist, and hopefully tomorrow, go snag a book on KU.   

KC Kendricks

The 2024 Retrospective

January 2, 2025

The year 2024 will not go down as my best. Far from it. I had high hopes for 2024, and all of them were crushed. However, I am nothing if not resilient and I will persevere. I've lived through hard times before, and I'm older now and better equipped. But that's not what this blog entry is about. This is a retrospective, a recap, of the year just passed, challenging as it was. Okay - it was a lousy year and this is not a report I expected to write for 2024.

January  to August 2024
I started the year out determined to work with YouTube and post videos and podcasts. I settled on calling the series what I call myself - The Accidental Writer. I thought it was an excellent start, but my life quickly derailed.

My husband's ill health crystalized into something very serious. Writing was not an option, but I thought about it all the time. I tried to keep up the appearance of normalcy, but as the weeks went by, cracks formed. With my husband in and out of the hospital, I began to realize my indestructible man who had beat kidney disease and beat cancer twice wasn't going to win this battle. 

On March 30, 2024, my beloved Ron lost his battle with a lung cancer we didn't know was happening until it was far too late. He had been cancer-free since 2006, and this diagnosis was a shock. Ron was a good man, and he is sorely missed by his family and friends. His passing didn't leave me the emotional energy to write. I didn't even try. 

I spent the next little while dealing with grief and not much else. I tried to blog some, focusing on the future and getting back to my life. I took a hard look at myself and my new unwelcome single life, and I knew Ron would expect me to pick myself up, dust myself off, and do what needed to be done. I worked on donating his clothes, sorting drawers, making a video (that I had to remove because of some nasty troll), and the garden. But I still hadn't gotten back to writing.

As the summer progressed, I developed some forward momentum and managed to keep it going. I wasn't happy with my inability to focus, but I felt it coming back in drips and drabs. I started to worry that 2024 would be the first year since I was originally published back in 2003 that I didn't complete a manuscript and get it published. I didn't want that to happen.

In August, I picked up the threads of Once in October. It felt good! What wasn't good was giving up on the 2024 garden. I accepted defeat and hoped for better in 2025. The writing was going slowly, but it was going. It wasn't always easy as I was seized by restlessness. Ron had been gone for six months. Where had the days gone? 

October 2024
Well, I didn't get the book with October in the title out in the month of October, but I was moving the story along. I processed the last remnants of my garden. Better luck next year.

November 2024

November is the season of firewood. I worked with my cousin, something I enjoy, and we have enough firewood to get through the 2024-25 season and beyond. November also kicks off the holiday season. I was busy with get-togethers with friends. Writing was done an hour here, an hour there, but Once in October neared completion. 

December 2024
It's pretty clear by now 2024 was not a year I'd wish on anyone. Once in October was completed and I loaded it up on Amazon and other online vendors. 2024 will not be the year I miss getting even one book out!  

On the nature front, a pair of hoot owls have moved into the neighborhood and they seem to be staying. I love hearing them call at night. Our hunting season hasn't lessened the number of deer coming through here at dusk. I don't think anyone is out hunting. I only heard one gunshot at dawn during the entire season.

With Once in October out the door, I'm ready to focus on the next story. I'm considering doing videos again, so we'll see how that goes. If I don't get views, I won't waste my time.

No, this was not the year I'd hoped it would be. I retired in May of 2022 so I could spend time with Ron. We didn't get even two years. Now I'm retired and on my own, and you know what? I think it could be much, much worse. 

I'm healthy. I can afford to stay in my home. I have family and friends around me. And Ron is still with me in spirit. 

It's easy to wish the year 2025 will be better with no help from me, but I know that isn't so. This new year just begun will require work, and prayer, to be what I wish it to be. It's up to me to stay in a positive frame of mind and emotion, and to do the work. I think I'm up to the task, but we shall see.

Thanks for sticking with me. Look for joy and you will find it. 

KC Kendricks/Rayne Forrest

The 2023 Retrospective

The 2022 Retrospective

The 2021 Retrospective

The 2020 Retrospective

The 2019 Retrospective

The 2018 Retrospective

The 2017 Retrospective

The 2016 Retrospective

The 2015 Retrospective

The 2014 Retrospective

The 2013 Retrospective

The 2012 Retrospective

New Year's, KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, look to the future, yearly retrospective, m/m romance, Kindle romance books, time management, writers on writing, rural living, LGBT author

Stepping back to refocus - new video

 August 2, 2024

Guess who managed to do another video? Yep. I got one finished and it's posted. This one is called "Stepping Back," and in it I talk about how sometimes I need to get my hands busy on a project so I can clear my head and refocus on a story. I think I'm going to leave this one up - comments be damned. 

I hope you'll check it out! 

KC 

Do I feel the way I'm supposed to feel?

April 27, 2024

Some dates burn themselves onto our souls. For me, March 30, 2024, is one of them. That's the day Ron died. How was I supposed to feel at his passing? How am I supposed to feel today, almost a month later? 

The late Jim Morrison (of The Doors) penned some lyrics way back in 1967, or thereabout, that seem apropos to the way I feel today. I mentioned these words in a previous post, but I can't get them out of my head. 

Strange days have found us and through their strange hours
We linger alone, bodies confused, memories misused
As we run from the day to a strange night of stone

Back in January, I thought my strange days would pass, but instead, they got stranger. My indestructible Ron, who had triumphed over every adversity, passed away. A cancer we didn't know he had took him. How am I supposed to feel about that? 

Getting in touch with myself is on my mind. Who will I be now that Ron is gone? Being single is something I've done before. Being a "widow" is not. What's a widow supposed to do? WHO is a widow supposed to be? Who am I after thirty years of being Ron's queen? And he did treat me like a queen. He and I alone together were people no one else got to see and we liked it that way. I will never be that woman again. She is gone, already faded from memory.

My future is a blank canvas. I can paint it with all the colors of my choosing without heeding the suggestions of others. Who I will be is up to me. Society will view me as a widow, as partner-less, but that's not the full story. Ron will always be with me. His counsel was timeless, ageless, and I'm only physically alone. 

Should I sit home and mourn him? He constantly encouraged me to go with friends to those places his disability prevented him from accompanying me. He wanted me to experience life even when he could not. He was not a jealous man, but a generous one. 

I can't be the grieving widow who sits home alone. I may become one of those crazy widows with multiple pets, however. No, I will be home when I want to be home, and out in the world when I want to be out in the world. My vision of "widowhood" allows me to be who I want to be and do what I want to do. Those are the decisions I need to make, day-by-day, and they will be my own. 

Is that the way I'm supposed to feel? It's the way I DO feel.

    _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, widowhood, death of spouse, country lifestyle, rural living, grief, m/m romance, contemporary LGBT gay romance, romance fiction, Kindle romance

I won't say the words

April 13, 2024

Many years ago, on August 20, 2017, to be exact, I wrote these words: "...the last thing I ever want to say to anyone is 'I used to be a writer'."  In that blog post, I bemoaned how little time I had to write. I was working full-time, caring for my ailing stepfather, my mother was in a nursing home, and my husband's health was not robust. I did not have the time or energy to continue to write at the level I was accustomed to. Fast forward to today, and I'm adrift. 

But I refuse to say those words. 

Ron's passing has brought seismic changes to my life. In fact, my life as I knew it for the last thirty years is over. I'm now in a time of transition and, I suspect, a time of reinvention. 

I don't anticipate being able to practice my craft for at least the next few weeks. There are "business" matters to attend to. I need to cancel his cell phone, get the Internet transferred into my name, sell his van, and settle all medical accounts. There are also more personal things to attend to as well. His beloved Strat has been given to his son, and it hurt my heart to part with it. 

I'm free now. My days belong to me. It's rather daunting, too. The gardening season is just around the corner. There will soon be mowing to do and outside projects to complete. And there will be time to write. 

First and foremost, I will be kind to myself. I will give myself time to adjust to living alone again. It's been thirty years since the last time I did, and I'm far better equipped for it at this stage of my life. In many ways, I've been in training for it for the last few years as his health declined more rapidly. 

So how do I want to reinvent myself as a woman on her own? Do I want to follow the musings I've had in the middle of many sleepless nights? Or now that the time has arrived, do I want to strike out in directions never considered? 

The next few months will likely bring a few surprises to my door. I hope I'm ready for them. 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

pinterest.com/kckendricks/boards

instagram.com/kc_kendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, death of spouse, LGBT gay romance, m/m romance, Kindle romance, on being a writer, life changes, Fender Strat, family, summer, gardening, 

Privilege and burden

April 6, 2024

One week. It seems a lot longer.

There is a hole in my life that RC inhabited. It may never seal over, but I see signs it will close. I've put down an area rug so Deuce can be more comfortable on the hardwood floor. I've rearranged the furniture now that I don't need to allow for RC's mobility limitations. Rearranging the furniture allowed me to bring my grandmother's Eastlake rocker back to the living room. 

It feels strange that such a small thing as having my grandmother's rocker back in my living space would have such a big impact. Being in the house with just Deuce and Loki has me reflecting on how much RC's health impacted the way we lived. Should I lie and say I feel no satisfaction in moving everything to where I want it? No, I will not. 

I was twenty-six when my father died. The hospital called and told Mom she should come in "right away." Dad was gone when we arrived. My mother uttered these words: "I'm free."  It shocked my young self but now I understand. No matter how much you love your spouse, caring for them through illness and end of life is both privilege and burden. 

I don't regret the thirty years we spent together. We had good times before he had the first cancer. After that, we did the best we could do. 

Will I be lonely? I have been lonely. Everywhere I went, I went alone because it was so difficult for him to get in and out of a vehicle. That will not change. 

Will I work harder around the house and yard? I was already doing everything. That will not change. 

But there will still be a hole in my life. His steadying presence is gone. His knowledge is gone, although I learned a lot from him. 

Like my mother, I'm free, and that, too, is both privilege and burden. 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

pinterest.com/kckendricks/boards

instagram.com/kc_kendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, loss of spouse, Kindle romance, life changes, Rayne Forrest, rural living, Eastlake, living alone

A life in limbo

March 25, 2024

My partner in life is not well. We've been dealing with a serious decline in his health since November 2023. Now we have an answer, but it's not one we ever wanted to hear. He has a mass in his lung. We know this but we're still living in limbo. We don't have a definitive answer on what it is, but I think we know. What the next step will be is also unclear. I've known the man for over thirty years and I can't say for sure he'll seek treatment. 

He is tired.

It's difficult to imagine the exhaustion of spirit a person must experience to reach the point where one does not wish to seek treatment for a serious disease. I cannot force him in this. It has to be his choice. All I can do is deal with what comes afterward. 

Whether or not he seeks treatment, our lives will exist in a sort of limbo. Any future we dream will be simply castles in the air, ones that float away on the next ill wind. If we can dream at all. 

He will need care I feel ill-prepared to render. I'm not a nurse nor do I aspire to be one. I'm sure I will have help in the beginning, but it will soon fade away as siblings return to their lives, lives that have intact futures. The summer I'd hoped for, where I tend my garden and we sit in the shade as Lord and Lady of the Manor will not happen. It was a small dream, but it was mine. 

How long will we endure this limbo? That is in God's hands. We pray for healing and yet we accept that death may come sooner rather than later. We do not know which is preferable, our limbo or the passing of his life. If it comes to the latter, he will finally be at peace. This is the way of life. 

    _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, seasons of life, cancer, death, limbo, partnerships, prayer, inevitability, price of love

You might think...many things

March 4, 2024

March 4, 1975

It's been an interesting life, so far. The clue that those who rode with me were in for a bit of a ride came on March 4, 1975. I left school and drove my 1969 Camaro to a local department store, where a man opened the car door and shoved a gun to my head. 

I was a schoolgirl. If someone did that today, the surprise might be on them. I'm armed now. You might think I would be vehemently opposed to guns, but no. I embrace my Second Amendment rights. 

And so began a string of unfortunate events. My first marriage ended, my first home burned to the ground, my father died. I could go on but I won't. 

You might think these things have made me bitter. They have not. As pictured, I ended up with a restored (and better) car. I ended up with a new (and better) home. I still miss my father, but I had the gift of his time. He spent time with me. We bonded over cars. My first marriage collapsed but that led me to the Lord of the Manor and a step up. 

There is an old saying that every cloud has a silver lining. The first one was waiting for me forty-nine years ago today. I know my life will have more challenges, and I know that each one will bring me to an even better place. You might think I'm an idiot for thinking that, but I have faith. 

*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

pinterest.com/kckendricks/boards

instagram.com/kc_kendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, 1969 Camaro, faith, LGBT gay romance, gay romance for Kindle, m/m romance, life, rural living, life experiences, stolen vehicles

A snowy morning can be inspirational

February 17, 2024

Last night's weather forecast was abysmal - four to eight inches of the white stuff was coming. As usual, the weather guessers were off. The measurement equaled a normal-for-us of two and a half inches. I was happy about that, let me tell you. I was so happy I wrote about it over at Holly Tree Manor/The Hideaway and set up a page for a series of snapshots I took this morning. 

Sometimes it's good to stop and look. My life is currently less than peaceful, but it was easy to forget everything as the sun topped the mountain and turned the woods into a winter wonderland. Hours later, it's still lovely. The wind is blowing the snow off the limbs in quick gusts which gives the appearance of snowfall. 

I think I needed this quiet morning to simply breathe. 

*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

pinterest.com/kckendricks/boards

instagram.com/kc_kendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Between the Keys, KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, snow, peace, rural living, LGBT gay romance, m/m romance, Kindle romance books, gay lovers, forest dwellers, 

When you need to shelve writing

February 8, 2024

It has been impossible to write. 

The last several weeks haven't been easy. The spousal unit's illness pretty much sucked the life out of me. Yeah, that's an exaggeration, so let's backtrack and say it sucked the JOY out of me. 

Why is that a problem for me? I can't write when I'm not happy. And I can't write dystopian gloom and doom on my best day! My stock in trade is getting to the point where you fall in love and are happy that you've met a special someone. 

The title of the current work-in-progress turned out to be The First of February. Needless to say, I missed the optimal time to release it. With RC needing care, I won't even get it finished this month. 

I'm sure some writers can power through and write every day of their lives regardless of what transpires around them. I wish I could do that instead of shelving a project until the current crisis is resolved. I hope today brings some relief. I'm writing this blog before we leave for a doctor's appointment to have his catheter removed. He's been uncomfortable in ways I can only imagine. 

It's times like these that make me question my dedication. WHY can't I seem to power through and write? WHY does my life have to be in a certain order for the words to flow out? The more I look for an answer the less I seem to be certain of, but one thing seems clear - the universe did not like it that I was on a roll. WHY is that? 

I will finish the story and maybe give it a "soft" launch. The time to hit the promo circuit with it will be next February. Or I could hold it for almost a year. (Probably not.) 

These roadblocks happen in life and we need to muddle through them. And I need to get back to writing. Maybe this morning will let the stars align and it will happen. 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

pinterest.com/kckendricks/boards

instagram.com/kc_kendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Between the Keys, KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, m/m romance, romance fiction, Kindle romance, LGBT gay romance, rural living, a writer's life, crisis management

What have you missed?

January 25, 2024

"We are like books. Most people only see our cover, the minority read only the introduction, many people believe the critics. Few will ever know our content." - found on X 

The Accidental Writer Podcast

January 15, 2024

One of the things on my mind at the end of 2023 was whether or not to start making more videos and maybe even a podcast. You know the old saying of nothing ventured, nothing gained? I decided it applied to this and I made a podcast video. Or is it a video podcast? It's a start, that's what it is. 

Is it a good start? I can't say.

Was it worth doing? I can't say.

Will anyone view it? I can't say.

Did I, at the very least, learn something? Yep. 

My computer came with a basic movie maker program. It didn't take much to pull out some photos and string them together with a few new .jpgs that I made into a presentable video. The voice-over was more difficult. I had to order a microphone and a headset. No problem. Big A delivered them to my door. But getting the timing to work out? Problem. I missed the ending by about five seconds, but I don't think it matters much on the last screen. 

I called this first video podcast The Accidental Writer, and it's an introduction of sorts to KC Kendricks. It's basic information that if you've been a regular reader here at the blog, you know. But while blogging is not a thing of the past, more and more people would rather watch a video or listen to a podcast. I do think that fifty years from now, reading will be a thing of the past except for the educated few. 

If you'd like to watch my first endeavor into the world of the podcast, it can be viewed below. It's free, and my YouTube channel isn't monetized so there aren't any ads (I don't think). 

If you would, please subscribe to the channel. I'd like to grow it to the point where I can monetize it. I need to keep my dog in kibble. 

What podcast may come next? I have a list of things I can talk about, but I think the next one will focus on a book. Or maybe one of the series. I haven't decided which way to go on that one. More personal ramblings comparable to The Accidental Writer will happen but they'll be spaced out. 

Thanks for stopping by the blog, and I hope you enjoy The Accidental Writer.  

 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

pinterest.com/kckendricks/boards

instagram.com/kc_kendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, romance fiction, LGBT gay romance, Kindle romance, YouTube, podcasts, m/m romance, Between the Keys, new ventures, rural living, country lifestyle, a writer's life, social media, book promotion

So that's what it's called: Bullet journal

January 8, 2024

Of course, I'm going to do it my way.

Last night, I learned that my style of keeping a daily calendar/to-do list/activity log is called bullet journaling. Who knew? I've been doing it for years and I called it...Heck. I didn't call it anything. It's just my daily calendar. 

I don't buy a notebook full of blank pages to customize. I purchase a [very expensive] Day Planner. It has monthly dividers with the month at a glance, a page for monthly notes, and it has a page for every day of the year. The day pages are divided into sections: hourly, to-do, top three important things of the day,  notes, and reflections/gratitude. There is a section in the front that could easily be used as an index, which I didn't think to do, but I may incorporate it. 

Being retired, I don't have a lot of pre-scheduled appointments. The hourly section is my record of what I did that day, time approximate. I staple appointment cards to the page, and screen caps of the ten day forecast get added from time to time. I do record the temperature every morning when I first sit at my desk. I'm always curious to see what the weather was a year ago, or even several years ago. 

After watching Sandi Brock (Sheepishly Me on YouTube) talk about her bullet journal, I looked up what it was. There are a lot of pages devoted to it and the creativity is impressive, but I'm not going to reinvent the wheel since I found a pre-printed day planner that works for me. 

I find it interesting when I discover I'm doing something that falls in place with the rest of the world and I didn't know the rest of the world had a name for it. There is so much going on outside my four walls and having made my choice to write, I don't have time to discover even a fraction of it! 

Am I missing out? Maybe a little. 

Chapter 9 is waiting. 

    _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

KC Kendricks, Rayne Forrest, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, LGBT gay, Kindle books, bullet journal, a writer's life, rural living, learning,