April 7, 2025
It's not been a typical Monday, at least so far. Being an only child, I have a raft of cousins I'm close to, and I'm grateful for each and every one of them. One of the "outlayers" is a woman who was married to my first cousin, Phil, who died in 1995. She's still family. Her second husband passed a few days ago and his funeral was this morning.
I think it's sad - and somewhat my fault - that I don't see her very often. We went in separate directions after my cousin died, and geography played a part in that. I was happy when she moved back, but we didn't connect very often. And as it turned out, she was caring for her late husband much the same as I had to care for mine. It didn't leave a lot of free time.
Being that the service was slated for ten o'clock, I didn't get anything started this morning. I did a bit of promo on Open Roads and then left the house.
The weather today is abysmal. It's barely forty-five Fahrenheit, and there is a steady drizzle. Nonetheless, I left the service and went to Sam's Club where I promptly blew the grocery budget for this cycle. Oh, well. Shit these things happen.
By the time I got home, took Deuce outside, put the loot away, and finally sat down at the computer, it was pretty obvious that writing wasn't going to happen.
Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the lack of stimulation in my life. I don't know what it is, but I lack the impetus to work on any of the stories I have started. It's not that I'm displeased with those stories because it's so far so good with them. No, I think it's this strange phase of my life.
I really need to get past it so I can be happy with myself again. Whatever the hell the problem is, I don't believe it should be an excuse, or a crutch, or a reason to not pursue something I'm good at. Lingering grief? Get over it. Lack of sunshine? Get over it. Too many things that need done? Get organized!
One of these days the from me to me pep talk will kick in.
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