An odd interruption to writing and guilt

 June 19, 2025

There's no shortage of things I need to do. And then there are those days when something bugs me and I just go do it. Take for example the pictured stump. 

I was, for once, happily working on one of the WIPs. I've got that sucker past 10,000 words and I now know the characters well enough to know where I want them to go. Will they cooperate? That's always a question. 

But I digress...

I typed the last line of Chapter 5 and looked out the office window at this stump. If that stump were removed, I could take the old Husqvarna mower through there, no problem. The next think I knew, I was on the John Deere 1023 digging out the stump. 

It needed done, but I'm not sure I needed to run right out and start it. For one thing, I was halfway through the removal when I heard thunder and saw lightning. The last place I wanted to be with a thunderstorm coming was atop a big hunk of metal beneath a lot of tall trees. I headed for the barn. 

We got over two inches of rain so it was a couple of days before I went out and finished the job. Heck, I even have some video footage I'm going to post once I get it edited. 

The thing is, I'm okay that I took the time to get the stump out. I've got to stop guilting myself when I need to do home and garden chores. I'm on my own now. No one else is going to do it. 

I've got to stop thinking in terms of not publishing six books a year as failing. It's not. Giving up would be the failure. Putting pressure on myself to write, write, write when so many other things are in my life is a failure to myself. 

I think I'm more of a work-in-progress than the manuscripts! 

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KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, writers on writing, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, LGBTQ gay, rural living, guilt, John Deere 1023 tractor, time management

Rainy Day Musings

 

June 16, 2025

I received an email from my long-time writing friend Brenda Williamson. We met years and years ago through a mutual publisher and have stayed in contact. Brenda is one of the very few faithful that way. 

Like me, she is slowly working on a few stories. Like me, life has tempered her joy in writing. Like me, she has one aging parent she needs to care for. Like me, she is a widow. 

And like me, writing used to be an all-consuming passion. I wish it would become one again for me, but living on my own, it might destroy me. 

We're having a rainy day. The top of the mountain is shrouded in fog. It's given me the opportunity to catch up on some indoor activities - a load of laundry, making a batch of yogurt, and yes, working on one of the WIPs. And I've had a Stevie Nicks playlist softly playing in the background. (I wonder what I did with my copy of The Other Side of the Mirror????)

Writing is fine on a rainy day. I can't garden, mow, work in the wood yard, or do any number of other outside chores than need done. And there it is. The thing that keeps me from writing - responsibilities. 

I can't shirk my responsibilities. I couldn't do it when I needed to care for my late husband and now, over a year later, I'm still not caught up. I'm getting there, but I'm not there yet. 

Perhaps part of my despair at not being able to write has a lot to do with being physically tired. I'm fixing "problems" that have existed for many years, issues that couldn't be addressed due to Ron's health and the need to care for him. 

Maybe I'm overthinking my life. It's possible. 

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 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

June 17 - PS. My copy of The Other Side of the Mirror was on vinyl. No wonder I couldn't find it in the CD rack! 

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, LGBTQ romance, Kindle romance, rainy days, writers on writing, life decisions, Stevie Nicks

The annoying question that will not go away

 June 12, 2025

Well, that was... what? Putting the Rayne Forrest titles on Kindle Unlimited has been a bust. No traction. It's very disappointing to the author side of me. 

A third of my life has been dedicated to writing, and the question I've been grappling with is no closer to a resolution. If I continue to write, how does it fit into my life NOW? 

When I was a newbie, more established authors said to write the story you want to read because you may be the only person to read it. This is true. 

When I was a newbie, more established authors said don't quit your day job because most writers can't live on their royalties. This is true. I made some pocket change but no where near enough to live on. 

When I was a newbie, more established authors said don't look at readers to validate your work. This is true. 

When I was a newbie, I couldn't imagine a time when I'd consider no longer writing. Here I am. 

My late husband fought cancer for twenty-four years, and he fought the good fight. I miss him every day, but we talked. Really talked. What about? About life after he was gone. He gave me a rare gift with his words. 

To say I've "rebuilt" my life is not precisely accurate. I've continued on in the life we built, but I'm adding individual touches in places I'd not anticipated. This is a good thing for me. I love the life we built and shared, and I love what I've added to it. 

These days, writing feels like making a choice between an intellectual practice and living my life. Which one do I feel is more important? 

Is this the question that won't go away, or the question with the answer I don't want to accept? 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, Rayne Forrest, LBGTQ gay romance, m/m romance, questions, romance author, Kindle romance, a writer's life, country living, social media, life decisions, loss of spouse

Updates from the Manor

June 10, 2025

I've been busy. Country living isn't all sipping bourbon on the porch. It's constant movement before it's time to sit on the porch (or patio in my case). The other day, I made a little video to show what's been going on lately and posted it. 

Making videos started years ago as a way to entertain my late husband. As he lost mobility, I videoed walks with the dogs and areas of the Manor he couldn't access with his power chair. He enjoyed it. And I videoed some of his antics on the tractor.  He requested a video of the professional tree trimmers taking down the leaning maple, so we shot that from the safety of the sunroom porch. 

These days making a video is more about a record for myself. Some future me is going to look back and remember that the woman of today did exist. Heck, I need these videos now to prove to my running buddies that THIS WOMAN can really operate a tractor and a chainsaw. 

So I made a little video. Go watch it. Subscribe to my channel and help me out. I'll never sneak into the YT algorithm if you don't. 

KC

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, YouTube video, LGBTQ gay romance, gardening, making videos, country lifestyle, rural living, Holly Tree Manor, romance author, life updates, new things, m/m romance, loss of spouse, rebuilding life