Showing posts with label setting boundaries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label setting boundaries. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Strange days have found us

October 16, 2013

Strange days have found us
Strange days have tracked us down
They're going to destroy
Our casual joys
We shall go on playing
Or find a new town.

As a general rule, Strange Days is not my favorite song by The Doors, my fave being Light My Fire. Back in the day when radio station 105.9 WCRX went live as the area’s first classic rock station their debut song was Light My Fire by The Doors.  I was really bummed when the station flipped over to “smooth jazz” but it wasn’t all bad so I still tuned in occasionally. At least I did until they went to a talk format and I found another station I like, that being 106.9 The Eagle. (Okay, guys - gimme something free for the plug!)

On the drive to work recently, the song Strange Days by The Doors aired and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. I suppose it resonated this time due to changes at my place of employment. Yes, strange days, or at least forty strange hours a week, have come to my world.

Changes in the workplace are nothing new. We all experience them and we all live through it. How we come out the other side varies. Stress can be a killer, this we know, but it can also change a person’s view of the world. Perhaps that’s the more damaging. 

For myself, I got a wakeup call last night when I realized the situation at the day job had me too mentally exhausted to settle down and write. That’s when the words to the song really took hold.

“They’re going to destroy our casual joys…”

The words are something to think about.  This morning I’m better rested and much clearer. Perhaps it’s time to institute my own “strange days.” It’s time to stop being nice and agreeing to those things that are not my responsibility. Who I become in the forty hours a week I give to an employer is not who I really am. They pay for my time and talents, not my soul.

It’s time to step back and realign my priorities, those being home and hearth and everything encompassed there. And having learned other lessons, I’ll do it all with a smile. I expect it will surprise a few people when they figure out they’ve actually been forced to do their own work. 

Strange days, indeed.

KC
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Monday, April 4, 2011

The Challenge of Commitment

April 4, 2011
A to Z Blogging Challenge
Day 3 - C


When I signed up to do the A to Z Blog Challenge, I knew it meant dealing with that dreaded C-word: Commitment.

Webster defines commitment as: an act of committing to a charge or trust; an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; something pledged; the state or an instance of being obligated.

Heavy stuff, commitment, and something to be taken seriously by all those who by spoken word or action practice it. People depend on you when you make a commitment to them. They trust you and they make decisions based on that trust. But I think the most important aspect of commitment has to do with something more. Something inside us.

These days, it seems easy for folks to say ‘yes’ to doing [fill in the blank] and then not follow through. Most of life isn’t rocket science, so what’s the harm, right? So what if you tell your BFF you’ll go with them to [fill in the blank] and you stand him/her up on the night of the event? They love you and will forgive you, right?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Do they have the strength of commitment needed to love you as the flawed human being you are? If you aren’t equally committed to them, you might be in for a surprise.

And the Internet doesn’t always advance your cause. It’s far too easy to give a cyber-yes to something because cyberspace deals in the anonymous, especially in the world of romance fiction. But you’re kidding yourself if you think no one past those you made the commitment to will know you ignored your pledge. People have long memories, yes, but most importantly you’ll remember you duffed on your commitment, and if you’re any kind of decent human being you’ll have to ask yourself if that’s the kind of person you want to be.

Commitment is scary. It’s for grown ups. When you can truly commit, it’s a sign of maturity. Who the hell wants to be MATURE?? You do.

You want to know that when you say you’ll do something, you mean it. You’ll do it. You owe it to yourself to follow through on your word. Yeah, sure, it makes people look at you in a very favorable light when you make good on your commitment, but more importantly, it allows you to see yourself that way, too.

And that’s the whole point of acting like a grown up and embracing commitment. How do you want to see yourself? Who do you want to be inside?

Just so you know, I struggle with commitments every darn day of my life. Saying "yes" is so easy but it can get me into trouble. I hate to say “no” to my loved ones, to the people I work with, to people I know in the publishing world.

It wasn’t easy but I learned how to be mature and say “no” when it’s called for. And sometimes it IS called for. It’s far more appropriate to say “no” than to let down the people I’ve made a commitment to when I can't follow through.

And you know what? I think they respect me even more for having the courage to set boundaries on those things I commit to and to sometimes say “no.” Setting boundaries can be a very loving thing to do.

The journey to a better me hasn’t always been easy. It’s frequently a challenge, but I’m committed to my own evolution as a human being. And that’s the most important commitment I’ve ever made.


Life through the eyes of Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com