An odd interruption to writing and guilt

 June 19, 2025

There's no shortage of things I need to do. And then there are those days when something bugs me and I just go do it. Take for example the pictured stump. 

I was, for once, happily working on one of the WIPs. I've got that sucker past 10,000 words and I now know the characters well enough to know where I want them to go. Will they cooperate? That's always a question. 

But I digress...

I typed the last line of Chapter 5 and looked out the office window at this stump. If that stump were removed, I could take the old Husqvarna mower through there, no problem. The next think I knew, I was on the John Deere 1023 digging out the stump. 

It needed done, but I'm not sure I needed to run right out and start it. For one thing, I was halfway through the removal when I heard thunder and saw lightning. The last place I wanted to be with a thunderstorm coming was atop a big hunk of metal beneath a lot of tall trees. I headed for the barn. 

We got over two inches of rain so it was a couple of days before I went out and finished the job. Heck, I even have some video footage I'm going to post once I get it edited. 

The thing is, I'm okay that I took the time to get the stump out. I've got to stop guilting myself when I need to do home and garden chores. I'm on my own now. No one else is going to do it. 

I've got to stop thinking in terms of not publishing six books a year as failing. It's not. Giving up would be the failure. Putting pressure on myself to write, write, write when so many other things are in my life is a failure to myself. 

I think I'm more of a work-in-progress than the manuscripts! 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, writers on writing, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, LGBTQ gay, rural living, guilt, John Deere 1023 tractor, time management

Rainy Day Musings

 

June 16, 2025

I received an email from my long-time writing friend Brenda Williamson. We met years and years ago through a mutual publisher and have stayed in contact. Brenda is one of the very few faithful that way. 

Like me, she is slowly working on a few stories. Like me, life has tempered her joy in writing. Like me, she has one aging parent she needs to care for. Like me, she is a widow. 

And like me, writing used to be an all-consuming passion. I wish it would become one again for me, but living on my own, it might destroy me. 

We're having a rainy day. The top of the mountain is shrouded in fog. It's given me the opportunity to catch up on some indoor activities - a load of laundry, making a batch of yogurt, and yes, working on one of the WIPs. And I've had a Stevie Nicks playlist softly playing in the background. (I wonder what I did with my copy of The Other Side of the Mirror????)

Writing is fine on a rainy day. I can't garden, mow, work in the wood yard, or do any number of other outside chores than need done. And there it is. The thing that keeps me from writing - responsibilities. 

I can't shirk my responsibilities. I couldn't do it when I needed to care for my late husband and now, over a year later, I'm still not caught up. I'm getting there, but I'm not there yet. 

Perhaps part of my despair at not being able to write has a lot to do with being physically tired. I'm fixing "problems" that have existed for many years, issues that couldn't be addressed due to Ron's health and the need to care for him. 

Maybe I'm overthinking my life. It's possible. 

     _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

June 17 - PS. My copy of The Other Side of the Mirror was on vinyl. No wonder I couldn't find it in the CD rack! 

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, LGBTQ romance, Kindle romance, rainy days, writers on writing, life decisions, Stevie Nicks

The annoying question that will not go away

 June 12, 2025

Well, that was... what? Putting the Rayne Forrest titles on Kindle Unlimited has been a bust. No traction. It's very disappointing to the author side of me. 

A third of my life has been dedicated to writing, and the question I've been grappling with is no closer to a resolution. If I continue to write, how does it fit into my life NOW? 

When I was a newbie, more established authors said to write the story you want to read because you may be the only person to read it. This is true. 

When I was a newbie, more established authors said don't quit your day job because most writers can't live on their royalties. This is true. I made some pocket change but no where near enough to live on. 

When I was a newbie, more established authors said don't look at readers to validate your work. This is true. 

When I was a newbie, I couldn't imagine a time when I'd consider no longer writing. Here I am. 

My late husband fought cancer for twenty-four years, and he fought the good fight. I miss him every day, but we talked. Really talked. What about? About life after he was gone. He gave me a rare gift with his words. 

To say I've "rebuilt" my life is not precisely accurate. I've continued on in the life we built, but I'm adding individual touches in places I'd not anticipated. This is a good thing for me. I love the life we built and shared, and I love what I've added to it. 

These days, writing feels like making a choice between an intellectual practice and living my life. Which one do I feel is more important? 

Is this the question that won't go away, or the question with the answer I don't want to accept? 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, Rayne Forrest, LBGTQ gay romance, m/m romance, questions, romance author, Kindle romance, a writer's life, country living, social media, life decisions, loss of spouse

Updates from the Manor

June 10, 2025

I've been busy. Country living isn't all sipping bourbon on the porch. It's constant movement before it's time to sit on the porch (or patio in my case). The other day, I made a little video to show what's been going on lately and posted it. 

Making videos started years ago as a way to entertain my late husband. As he lost mobility, I videoed walks with the dogs and areas of the Manor he couldn't access with his power chair. He enjoyed it. And I videoed some of his antics on the tractor.  He requested a video of the professional tree trimmers taking down the leaning maple, so we shot that from the safety of the sunroom porch. 

These days making a video is more about a record for myself. Some future me is going to look back and remember that the woman of today did exist. Heck, I need these videos now to prove to my running buddies that THIS WOMAN can really operate a tractor and a chainsaw. 

So I made a little video. Go watch it. Subscribe to my channel and help me out. I'll never sneak into the YT algorithm if you don't. 

KC

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, YouTube video, LGBTQ gay romance, gardening, making videos, country lifestyle, rural living, Holly Tree Manor, romance author, life updates, new things, m/m romance, loss of spouse, rebuilding life

There are some changes afoot

May 20, 2025

After a lot of deliberation and arguing with myself, I decided to take the leap and put all the old Rayne Forrest books on Kindle Unlimited. 

Good move? Bad move? I guess we'll see. 

This morning, I pushed the buttons to remove them from all other online vendors, and I started to list them on Kindle Unlimited. Then it occurred to me I'd better wait a day for the removal process to complete. So that's where I am this morning - waiting. 

I think leaving those stories available on KU is a better option than pulling them down completely. Will there ever be another Rayne Forrest book? I don't know. I can't rule out the possibility even though I'm not currently entertaining that idea. The currents that run below the surface of my life often surprise me. 

That's  my news for today. Check out the Rayne Forrest booklist, and hopefully tomorrow, go snag a book on KU.   

KC Kendricks

Retirement reflections

 May 19, 2025

Three years ago today, I walked out of the day job office for the last time. Or maybe I should say for the last time as a full-time employee. I've been back to visit the lovely young woman they hired when I announced I was retiring. She is a true gem. 

The woman who was my immediate supervisor when I retired is preparing to announce her own retirement. She's waiting until the moment feels "right" to her, and I support her thinking. I have told her a few times that she'll just simply know when she's ready. She was the best "boss" I had in my twenty-two years there and on a certain level, I hated to leave and not see her every day. We've stayed in touch, meeting for lunch at least once a month. 

My official retirement date was May 31, 2022, but I coasted those last few days on vacation time. I stayed on as an "administrative consultant" so the new girl could call me with questions and not feel like she was bothering me. She couldn't "bother" a person if she tried. She's that sweet. It's who she is. 

So have the last three years gone as planned? No. Have they gone as hoped? No. My beloved Ron died last year. I was supposed to have years and years of retirement fun with him. Instead, it's just me and a bunch of cousins and girlfriends having "fun." They're great company, but it's not the same. 

I had planned to do a lot of writing in retirement, but Ron suddenly needed more care. I was grateful to be home to be with him even though I lacked the energy to write. I've been struggling with it ever since. 

My days are full of taking care of my home, inside and out. There is a garden to tend, grass to mow, firewood to stockpile, autos and equipment to get serviced. Self-care is more of a priority now, as anyone who lives alone will understand on a gut level. The rosy retirement movie that played in my mind no longer exists. And you know what? That's fine! I'm making a new movie, one that shows a more independent and healthy me. 

I still need to gather in the threads of writing discipline and get busy. I have three WIPs to finish, and it's already the last part of May. If I want to publish them in this calendar year, I need to buckle down. I may never get back to being able to publish six or seven books a year, but maybe I can do four. 

No, retirement so far has not been what I expected, but I'm fine. Life is often full of the unexpected. We need to adjust, even if it takes a while, and keep going. That's my plan now - just keep going. 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, m/m romance, LGBTQ gay romance, contemporary gay romance, retirement, death of spouse, a writer's life, rural living, publishing, history, friends, cousins, equipment

Sometimes it's out of our control

May 15, 2025

It's been an interesting couple of days. There was rain in the forecast, but I didn't pick up on the fact the rain would be a deluge. We got two inches in less than twenty-four hours. That's a lot for us. Some areas just west of our location got even more. The Potomac River is flooding in some spots. 

Rain is one thing. Power outages are another. Back in the day, outages were common here. The power blinked every day in the hottest part of summer. Then came the Big Ice Storm of October 29, 2011, and the power company had a massive amount of damage to repair. It seems they were able to make those repairs count because the regular power blinks stopped after that. 

Tuesday was a mess. It rained. Boy, did it rain. I'd already emptied about two and a half inches out of the rain gauge and Tuesday brought two more. I kept an eye on the radar. The sump pump cycled a few times and I knew that when the heavy rain hit, around nightfall of course, the pump would cycle about every five minutes. I got the Troy-Built 5500 generator ready and it's a good thing I did. 

About nine o'clock I heard a strange thump-boom. The lights flickered not once, but three times. I heard the sound again, and the house went dark. I bolted out the door and started the generator so the sump pump could keep working. I called the power company's emergency line to report the total outage. They gave me an estimated time for the power to be restored - eleven o'clock. At a quarter past eleven, they said it would be one o'clock (that's AM). I let the generator run and listened to the pump cycle. 

The generator powers the sump pump, the water pump, areas of the basement, the living room, kitchen, and the master bedroom. I turned on the hall light knowing that when the power was restored, that light would come on and let me know I could shut down the generator. I could watch the Weather Channel's radar map, and my Kindle was fully charged. Deuce and I were doing fine, and Loki slept through it all. I couldn't turn on the computer, but that was okay. I didn't want to take the chance. 

At ten minutes to one, I called the power company again. NOW the recording said it would be three o'clock before the power was restored. I no sooner disconnected the call when the hall light popped on. I waited a couple of minutes before I flipped switches and shut down the generator. Halleluiah, I could go to bed! Note that I didn't say I'd go to sleep. It was a while before that happened. 

Fast forward to last night and we had a few more power blinks around eleven o'clock. I was concerned but not panicked. The rain had stopped and the sump pump wasn't cycling. 

So here we are this morning. It's misty and foggy outside, but all is well inside. The adventures of the last two days were out of my control. I'm grateful to have reached the point in my life where I can roll with these unexpected outages instead of getting angry and driving myself into a fit. 

I was prepared for an outage, but I'm pondering how I can be even better prepared. The generator runs great, but as with all mechanical things, it ages. It's over twenty years old and has more than a few hours on it. Now I wonder if I should get a medium sized power bank to run the sump pump, just in case. 

Being prepared is not out of my control. I can be proactive, and I'm going to look at a few things this summer and hopefully fine tune my emergency response capabilities. It just makes sense, especially for a woman living alone. 

And who knows? Maybe this experience will work its way into a story soon. 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, m/m romance, contemporary gay romance, LGBTQ+ romance, rural living, country lifestyle, Troy-Built 5500, rain system, power outages, preparedness

It's going to be a long, rainy day

May 9, 2025

We need the rain even though western Maryland is not currently in a severe drought condition. My location has had almost three inches of rain in the last week, according to my rinky-dink rain gauge. Today, it looks like we're in for a long soaking rain. 

As a gardener, this makes me happy. As a dog servant, not so much. Deuce is not a happy Labrador. Will he jump in the creek and have a good splash-about? Every day the sun shines. Does he go outside in the rain to pee-pee? Not if he can help it. I'm just his hooman. I don't understand. I'll just let sleeping dogs lie - on the bed.

A rainy day is a writing day. I'm writing now, right? Blogging is writing, right? Sure it is. I've always looked at the bigger picture, at the business of writing which for me includes blogging and promotion. I was up late last night working on one of the WIPs, so this morning I don't feel quite ready to dive back in. I need to savor that second up of coffee I shouldn't have before I take on that first dinner date. It's a good time to take a look at the spreadsheet I use to keep track of all those Facebook groups. 

Other authors I've read think FB is dead, but I'm still doing pretty good there. I've even wondered if I should start a group of my own, but I really don't want to have to moderate it. 

I've also written about the spreadsheet I use to keep track of my postings. It keeps growing. It's now four separate worksheets - one for general, one for m/m only, one for paranormal, and one for those groups that for one reason or another I've abandoned. And yes, it now has some color coding. It does aid in spreading out my posts and in posting a series in order. 

Jumping into a story first thing in the morning, my coffee gets cold. Taking half an hour or so to post some promos gives me the opportunity to enjoy it, at the very least, warm. My handy-dandy spreadsheet helps me maximize that time. 

Outside my window, the world is green and wet. There won't be any yard work done today, but that's okay. It's a good time to jump into the head of one of my characters and tell his story. Rainy days and storytelling. Sounds like a good mix.

     _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, writers on writing, m/m gay romance, LGBTQ+ romance, contemporary romance, spreadsheets, Facebook, promotions, engaged authors, country living, Labrador Retrievers

The health of this writer

 

May 5, 2025

Health tips are everywhere. Do this. Do that. Bad. Good. Must. Avoid. I confess to being at the "who gives a fuck" stage with it all. I think all this so-called advice has morphed into how a blogger or a YouTube-r gets more views to generate more income. BETWEEN THE KEYS is not monetized. My opinions are out there for free. This is my blog, a record of my days, my thoughts, my opinions, for what it's all worth. This is who and where I am on this day. 

So.... why am I writing about health instead of working on the current WIP? 

There was a family gathering this past weekend and talk turned to health. This seems to be a more and more popular topic at these events. I get annoyed when talk turns to glucose levels. People act like they don't believe me when I tell them mine is fine. My grandmother was diabetic and folks seem to think I should be one, too. The reading pictured was taken at about 7:00 AM this morning. It really PISSES ME OFF! Yeah. It does. As soon as I'm finished venting, I'm texting that picture out to a few family members. 

Why is this number so important? There is something with glucose levels called the dawn phenomenon. Go look it up. As best I can tell it's got a lot to do with biorhythms and your very smart body preparing you to have enough energy to wake up via the liver making glucose. It's a whole thing. 

Now you may wonder why I check my levels on a semi-regular basis. My grandmother was diabetic and I have her genetics. I also have access to more and better information than she ever had. I check my levels to watch for trends.  

I've read the articles where sitting all day is considered to be the new smoking when it comes to chronic health problems. I sat behind a desk for most of my working years. Then I came home and sat at the computer to write. I also walked on my lunch breaks and walked the dog after I got home. Now that I'm retired, I'm outside moving around a lot. Being the Lady of the Manor requires a lot of physical activity. 

Refined white sugar is the new devil. Carbohydrates are evil. Seed oils sit at the right hand of the fallen angel. Intermittent fasting and a high protein diet will help you live forever! All the hype gets in the way of the truth which is we do need to look closely at those things and be smart about them. My morning coffee demands a pinch of sugar and a glug of cream, so bite me.

I never realized that I practiced intermittent fasting for most of my life. My natural hunger pattern seems to be to want food between ten and eleven in the morning, and then around between five and six in evening. Three meals a day never really worked for me. When I worked, I'd have a cup of yogurt mid-morning and eat supper around five. Maybe I created my rhythm over the years. 

What I am changing is carbohydrates. I'm going low-carb. I discovered long ago I feel a lot better if I don't eat carbs with my dinner. No problem. I'm intentional with it now that I'm cooking just for myself (and the dog). 

Know thyself. Yes, I want to stay healthy. Yes, I want to avoid the problems my grandmother had. And yes, I want to shove pictures of my healthy glucose numbers up the collective nose of certain family members. Maybe that's the real motivation. 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Between the Keys, KC Kendricks, glucose levels, healthy writers, low carb, LGBT gay romance, m/m romance, contemporary romance, rural living, a writer's life, country lifestyle, family

Keeping oneself amused

April 26, 2025

It's the little things in life that keep me smiling. My 2025 garden is planted. It's raining on the garden. The rain enabled me to burn the brush pile this morning. Driving my car is soooo much fun!  The odometer rolled up a fun number....76543.

And I almost missed it! I pulled into my parking spot beside my house, looked down, and there it was! How close was that to missing it? Pretty close.

Anyway, I found it amusing and thought I'd share it. That's not bad mileage for a 2011 Charger. I think the old girl has more than a few miles left in her, and I'm glad. I don't like making car payments. Even the odd repair is cheaper than a car payment. And the cold hard fact is, I don't plan on replacing her. Considering I live in rural America, and I'm getting older, the best vehicle for me is a "small" pickup. The day may come when I sell the Charger and trade in the Colorado on a newer one. But that day hasn't arrived. 

Until then, I'm going to enjoy driving a car that hugs the road and can go fast when I'm in the mood. It's the little things in life. 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, 2011 Dodge Charger, Chevy Colorado, rural living, a writer's life, m/m romance, gay romance, Kindle romance, fast cars, private amusements

Keeping the writer happy (in theory)

 

April 13, 2025

It's always good to get the cover made for a work-in-progress. I find inspiration in having that accomplished. Having a dual screen set-up, I can have the cover up while I'm actively writing. It's a visual aid. Unfortunately, it was not enough of an aid to keep me from working on what is for me a vital springtime chore. 

Every spring, I need to pull up a winter's growth of weeds and grass at the gable end of my house. Yes, I have woven weed barrier down, but it can't stop weeds and grass from trying to grow in the pea gravel. A few years ago, I revamped the area in a big way. I won't allow all that hard work, and it WAS hard work, to be for nothing. 

I decided to reduce the number of big pots I have in this area for this year. I'm scaling back on the veggies this year since I'm on my own. There is room in the garden area for annual flowers now. 

But this area beside the house is important. I park my Charger there and I HATE to come home and look at a weed patch. It wrecks my mood. Now I can come home and park beside a neatly tended area. It'll made me happy!

And a happy me is a writing me, or at least that's one theory. 

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, gay m/m romance, LGBT gay, Kindle gay romance, contemporary gay romance, rural living, gardening, book covers, a writer's life, seasonal work

You would think I'd be writing

April 7, 2025

It's not been a typical Monday, at least so far. Being an only child, I have a raft of cousins I'm close to, and I'm grateful for each and every one of them. One of the "outlayers" is a woman who was married to my first cousin, Phil, who died in 1995. She's still family. Her second husband passed a few days ago and his funeral was this morning. 

I think it's sad - and somewhat my fault - that I don't see her very often. We went in separate directions after my cousin died, and geography played a part in that. I was happy when she moved back, but we didn't connect very often. And as it turned out, she was caring for her late husband much the same as I had to care for mine. It didn't leave a lot of free time. 

Being that the service was slated for ten o'clock, I didn't get anything started this morning. I did a bit of promo on Open Roads and then left the house. 

The weather today is abysmal. It's barely forty-five Fahrenheit, and there is a steady drizzle. Nonetheless, I left the service and went to Sam's Club where I promptly blew the grocery budget for this cycle. Oh, well. Shit these things happen. 

By the time I got home, took Deuce outside, put the loot away, and finally sat down at the computer, it was pretty obvious that writing wasn't going to happen. 

Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the lack of stimulation in my life. I don't know what it is, but I lack the impetus to work on any of the stories I have started. It's not that I'm displeased with those stories because it's so far so good with them. No, I think it's this strange phase of my life. 

I really need to get past it so I can be happy with myself again. Whatever the hell the problem is, I don't believe it should be an excuse, or a crutch, or a reason to not pursue something I'm good at. Lingering grief? Get over it. Lack of sunshine? Get over it. Too many things that need done? Get organized! 

One of these days the from me to me pep talk will kick in. 

     _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, writer's block, contemporary gay romance, Kindle romance novels, LGBT gay romance, m/m romance, grief, a writer's life, bad author, country lifestyle, death in the family

The door is open

March 28, 2025

A year ago today, my late husband and I shared our final conversation. He died less than two full days later. 

I'm struggling with the fact it's been a year - three hundred sixty five days - and yet the memory is still fresh and clear in my mind. 

Where do I go from here? It's a serious question to which I have no definitive answer. 

I've survived the last year and I'll say it myself because I doubt anyone else will - I've managed it very well. Ron spent the last years of his life preparing me, teaching me, empowering me. He was a good man. He knew what was coming and making sure I was ready was more important than preparing himself for his own passing. Again, he was a good man. 

The door is open. The future invites all of us to step through and see where the path goes, but that first step is daunting. And there is a first step to take in every day. 

I suppose I need to give myself this weekend to reflect and grieve. To acknowledge it has been a year since Ron died is to acknowledge just how real the future without him will be. 

In some ways, I've been waiting for this first anniversary to come and go. It doesn't make absolute sense to me but at the same time it does. It's a completed cycle. It's proof I can manage on my own. It tells me some of the jokes with my girlfriends about not wanting to take on another man are not jokes but fact. I do not want to be a caregiver again, and at my age, it's certain I'd eventually become one. I'm saying no even if it means being on my own for the rest of my days. 

Beyond the open door lies freedom, the kind of which it's time to experience. The only question that needs to be answered now is am I really brave enough to accept the invitation?

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, a writer's life, m/m romance, LGBT gay romance, Kindle novels, rural living, loss of spouse, grief, moving forward, contemporary gay romance, erotic romance novels

A to Z Blogging and distractions

March 24, 2025

So for a hot minute I thought about doing the 2025 A to Z Blogging Challenge. Maybe not for an entire minute. Been there, done that. It takes a lot of time, and that's time I don't want to devote to it. 

I had to go back and look to see when I first took the challenge. It was in April 2011. I thought it might be a great way to promo the books I had available. I made a calendar and got to work. 

When April 2012 rolled around, I was more prepared. I pre-wrote several blog entries to stay ahead. In 2013 I really got into developing a calendar. In 2014, we picked themes and mine was a subject near to my heart - A Rural Life. I kicked off the month with a story we cousins still laugh about. Our grandparents were sometimes larger than life. 

As I approached April 2015, I questioned my sanity when I thought of doing the challenge yet again. My 2015 theme was Many Sundry Things and I went all over the place with entries. But in 2016, I pulled up my big girl britches and jumped in again with some Time Management. 

All-in-all, I for the most part enjoyed the Challenge. But if I recall correctly, the A to Z organizers changed the format in 2017 and that was my excuse to STOP IT. Six years was enough participation for me. Plus, my day job and caring for my mother were getting the best of me. (I'm going to address some of that later in a post about retirement.)

It takes me about an hour to go from start to finish on a blog entry. I need coffee or tea. I need to let Deuce out. The washer or dryer beeps at me. I'm cold so I need a sweater. I'm hot so I have to hang it up. I get a notification I have a new email so I need to go read it. Did I ever mention I have several blogs about distractions? I do. 

In the course of writing this entry, I was distracted by some of the old A to Z blogs and read them. Can you believe I allowed myself to be distracted yet again? Yep.

I'm not participating in the 2025 Challenge. I'm delighted that it's happening. I approve of continuity. I just have too many other distractions important things in my life right now. 

Gotta go. Deuce wants to play and my coffee cup is empty. I think the dryer may have beeped, too. 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_

KC Kendricks
My home on the web- Between the Keys: 
http://kckendricks.blogspot.com
Visit my bookshelf at: 
https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Between the Keys,  KC Kendricks, A to Z Blogging, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, GLBT gay, Kindle gay novels, distractions, a writer's life, rural living, writers on writing

Little green things

March 20, 2025

I confess I've been sidetracked by little green things. Strawberry runners, basil sprouts, cabbage sprouts, Roma tomato sprouts, marigold seedlings, and begonia cuttings. It happens every year. 

This behavior is a direct result of being cooped up in an office for so many years. I envied my grandfather who had time to ooh and ahh over his seedlings every day. I installed Gro-light bulbs in the den but are my sprouts there? Nope. They're in my sunroom office with me. 

My late husband used to shake his head - but he said nothing. He found it amusing that after so many years another side of me popped out when I retired. He didn't help with the garden, except to keep me company when I worked in it, but he enjoyed fresh veggies on the table as much as I do. 

I supposed if I'm going to allow myself to be distracted it's best it be with something productive. 

And that new work-in-progress? I banged out the first chapter, slept on it, and decided it needed expansion. So I am working on that. 

     _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/bookshelf.html

Social media links:

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at The Hideaway/Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KCKendricks

twitter.com/kckendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, LGBT gay romance, m/m romance, Kindle gay romance, gardening, writers on writing, a writer's life, distractions, contemporary gay romance