Wednesday, October 17, 2018

It's just life

October 17, 2018

Tomorrow marks an important anniversary for us. On October 18, 2006, in a last ditch, hail Mary procedure, my beloved underwent surgery at Johns Hopkins to remove half his liver. It worked and we've had another twelve years together. He remains cancer-free, thank God. 

Now we're facing another surgery, this one to relieve pressure on his spinal cord. It's pretty scary. Neither of us are looking forward to it but if it's not done, he will eventually be paralyzed. The operation could have the same outcome. I don't like my future hanging on a roll of the dice. 

To say that I "worry" about being alone is a bit dramatic. Of course, I think about it but it doesn't fill me with dread. The spousal unit is nine years older. I expect to outlive him. I've lived alone before. I will manage. 

Life is full of changes. It's foolish not to consider how you will handle different scenarios. I've made up my mind I will be fine - I believe that mindset is the key. 

I could whine and cry about my lot. My father died thirty-five years ago, my mother has Alzheimer's Disease, her second husband is rapidly declining and I'm tending to his affairs, my best friend moved a thousand miles away, and now my husband is once again fighting for his life. 

But you know what? We all have a season to carry burdens. This is mine. It's just life. 


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