So I got a new phone.
Why is this news? Because it means I finally had Ron's phone disconnected. I will no longer be able to dial his old number and hear his voice. This was hard to do.
Yes, I paid the extra money to keep his phone active for the past year. My money and my choice. Maybe someday those among you who haven't yet lived through such loss will understand because the big loss will come, be it parent, spouse, child, or sibling. No one gets an exemption.
I didn't get the best phone on the market. I don't need it. My phone is my PHONE. I talk, text, take pictures and videos (of the dog), and I check the weather. I don't find struggling to read on such a small screen enjoyable. I much prefer the computer for actual work. I do tend to compartmentalize my life, and work is done at my desk with two large monitors.
Figuring out the new phone has been frustrating. Even YouTube only got me so far. The good news is that I'm getting there. I figured out how to turn the volume and brightness up - yea! The bad news is I ended up setting new passwords all over the place. This did not make me happy, but Google knew it wasn't talking to my old phone and wanted to make sure I'd not been hacked. It was a mess because there is me me and writer me on the same devices. Someone at Google doesn't get it.
A new phone means a new case for said phone, so off I went to Amazon. There were too many choices and I likely made the wrong one. We'll see later today when Big A arrives. Why they run a truck all the way out here instead of mailing the case I'll never know. Obviously a thin cell phone case would fit in the mailbox. I doesn't make any sense to me since I live waaaaay out in the boondocks. And living waaaaay out here is why I use Amazon instead of driving twenty miles to the nearest shopping center every week. But I digress...
I'm usually pretty hard on myself when decisions involve my emotions. I tell myself it's silly to be sad over a necessary business decision. I know the truth in that. Ron's voice has been gone for almost a year. Letting go of a mechanical facsimile is a logical step, yet grief knows little of logic.
I went to the cell phone store first thing in the morning and I was exhausted the rest of the day. But this morning, two days later, I picked up the new phone to check the weather forecast and I knew everything on the phone front was okay.
We move forward step by step, and it seems I've taken a few more.
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