Frustration or annoyance?

November 20, 2022

Is it frustration or annoyance? I can't decide. What I do know is not being about to come up with at least a working title for the current work-in-progress is driving me around the bend!  

I'm into chapter four and by now I should have something. I think the Muse is laughing at me. I think she has a title but she's not sharing. The little bitch is like that. Fickle and vindictive! 

Yes, I know she's a part of my own psyche, but I stand by my words. She's bitchy at times. She holds out on me! Just remember you don't have to live with her and I do!! 

Somewhere on my computer is a list of possible titles. I started it eons ago and added to it religiously for several years. Now I can't find it. It's there - I never delete files - but where is it??

I would love to decide on a title. Once I do that, I can make a mock-up of a cover and have it open on the other monitor screen as I work on the story. I like to do that when I can. It's a visual aid and sometimes we need those. 

A title should reflect some facet of the story, but "Bend Over, Donut-Boy" will NOT work. "Baker's Dozen" sounds like a cookbook about donuts. There's a bit of suspense coming later in the story, so how about "To Kill a Donut-Boy?" No? I agree. That's not it. 

The struggle is real. I've been very fortunate in my career in that I've rarely had this much trouble settling on a title. Perhaps I'm overthinking it and Himself is correct. It's a cold and windy day and he's suggested we load up Deuce and take a drive to the Antietam Battlefield. Stepping away from the computer may help. Lord knows I'm not about to go outside and do battle with the wind. 

Maybe I'll get lucky and it will come after we take our little jaunt into history. I sure hope so because I need to stop dwelling on this and WRITE! 

KC Kendricks

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/the-bookshelf-of-kc-kendricks-and-rayne_3.html

KC Kendricks, Between the Keys, titles, a writer's life, Antietam Battlefield, contemporary gay romance, m/m romance, Deuce

Surprise snow

December 4, 2019

Being that it's the fourth of December, waking up to find snow on the ground should not be a surprise, but this morning it was. Deuce didn't seem to mind, though. He bounded outside when I opened the door and took off at a run up the hill. He'd spotted a buck, almost invisible against the hillside. 

Last evening, while The Curse of Oak Island was on television, I looked at my weather apps. I didn't see a thing about snow, hence my surprise. I joined the dog for our morning stroll and the wonderment of every snowfall seeped into my awareness. 

It also struck me it was a coincidence of epic proportions the current work-in-progress starts out with our ex-lovers getting snowed-in together - another epic coincidence, but hey. I'm writing fiction. Let's just run with it for now. 

I've always wanted to name my little slice of the planet. My mother always called her home Tranquility Hill. Not exactly fitting for my small estate. As Deuce and I meandered in and out the lane, at a snail's pace so he could sniff and do all his dog things, it struck me. Five Holly Manor. 

Five Holly Manor. There were no holly trees planted on the property. They sprouted and grew on their own, the seeds likely carried in by birds. Maybe just Holly Manor. I'll have to think about that. 

This was the best kind of snowfall. No lasting accumulations and no driving hazards. Just a nice dusting of white that highlighted the trees and made my dog happy. 

Some days, you can't ask for more. 

KC Kendricks
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Coffee at night

August 10, 2019

My project of the summer became clearing out my mother and late stepfather's house. Jack used to say he didn't know how I would ever manage to dispose of their worldly possessions. Knowing he had a propensity to never remove anything from his house hasn't made my job easier. It's taken months, but the end is in sight. Relatives of ours descended last evening and this morning, and large pieces of furniture were loaded onto pickups and driven away to new homes. 

It gets better. 

My sister-in-law showed up with her sister-in-law's cousin. He's looking for a house and, if the price is right, he's very interested in my mother's place. I've explained to him my Power of Attorney to handle my mother's affairs includes a fiduciary responsibility to her. I can't simply sell the house at a loss. The money from the sale will be used for her care. He understands this. I understand the house needs new shingles. I'm sure we can work a deal, especially if we don't have to pay realtor fees. My first call on Monday will be to an appraiser, something I need to do, anyway. 

Dismantling my mother's home is bittersweet. I have the memories of how happy she was living there while her memories of it are gone. Her dishes, clothes, knick-knacks - all that she loved is forgotten. But I remember. 

My mother loved swans and had quite the collection. She talked about growing up once, telling me how she never felt pretty as a girl. I have a photo of her in her wedding dress, when she was eighteen and about to marry my dad. She was beautiful. And somewhere in the course of her life, she felt an affinity to the swan, which starts life plain and matures into magnificence. Knowing this, it's very difficult to keep any of the swans. I've always thought my mom was lovely. It's painful to know she ever felt otherwise. 

Sitting in her empty house this afternoon, hoping I have a buyer, it occurred to me that very soon I may lose those rooms and another link to her. The woman who was my mother has been stolen from me. I visit the woman who remains and I miss my mother. 

Deuce and I sat outside on our little porch as evening turned to night. It's August now and the worst of the humidity is over for this year. I fixed a cup of coffee, something I almost never do in the evening, and my companion and I watched the deer creep into the front yard to graze. The few remaining lightning bugs twinkled here and there, and off in the distance, an owl asked the perennial question, "who?who?"

Who, indeed, will I be when this season is over? 

KC Kendricks

Best to wait another year

September 2, 2018

Many moons ago, my mother and I enjoyed making decorative ceramic pieces. This was precipitated by a woman my mom worked with opening a ceramic shop in her basement. Mom wanted to support her endeavor and since we did all sorts of crafty *stuff*, off we went. I made a pumpkin patch. 

I enjoyed every moment of making all those pumpkins. Mom was busy making flower pots and a mushroom patch. (It was the early 80s.) We kept all the tools of the trade at Mom's house and generally spent an evening a week sitting at her table, happily sanding, painting and glazing. Every Saturday morning, we took pieces to be fired and to pick up completed pieces. 

In years past, the pumpkin patch and the three wee ghosties I found at the old five and dime store came out of storage around the first weekend of September to welcome the approaching autumn. Some years it went on the hutch and others on the dining room table. It remained until the day after Thanksgiving when it was carefully packed and the box put back up in the attic. 

This year, the pumpkin patch is staying safely packed away. I can sum up the reason why in one word - Loki.  Don't let that sweet little face lull you into believing he's a good kitty. Loki is a one kitten wrecking crew, ergo, ALL the breakables have been tucked away. He goes for his "operation" this coming Wednesday. He's full of fresh, young male hormones at the moment and poor Deuce is paying the price with a shortage in his nap times. 

We'll give Loki another year and see if he settles down as an adult. I suspect this will be another season without a Christmas tree, too. We do what we must to accommodate our little furballs and live in harmony. 

KC Kendricks
www.kckendricks.com

Another rainy holiday

July 5, 2018

Sometimes I think the gods of weather have too much fun at my expense. Yesterday was a holiday here in the United States - our Independence Day observance. I had such high hopes of a perfectly grilled center cut pork chop, a hope that quickly died when the dark clouds rolled in. 

The day started with promise. I actually slept until almost seven a.m. That's quite a rarity for me. I'm usually up by six. Deuce was ready to go do all his outside activities, so I slipped into a t-shirt and went with him. Doggie-mommies need to monitor some of these things, you know. 

While Deuce was busy sniffing the perimeter of his yard, I went into the shed and shot the last coat of gloss paint on the second platform rocker - mark one more item off my to-do list. The rocker was quickly followed by tidying my financial empire and cleaning Loki's litter box. The spousal unit was up by then and we decided to check out purchasing a new recliner for him. 

We're now the proud owners of a power lift recliner. It's going to be a big help to him. Not only will it not move when he attempts to stand, it will lift and help him get his feet under him. With any luck, Bob's Discount Furniture will deliver it next Tuesday as promised. As we were leaving the store, the heavens opened. We managed to drive out from under the rain and beat it home. There was just enough time to let Deuce out for a quick pee-pee before the rain caught up to us. It rained for the remainder of the day and there went my grilled pork chop for dinner. 

It must have put a damper on local firework celebrations, too. I didn't hear many "booms" echoing off the mountain after dark. 

For some time now I've wanted to swap my dining room table with a smaller breakfast table I've used in my sewing room. I won't go into the particulars of it. Suffice it to say it was just a notion I had and today was the day I acted. I texted Cousin Dave to help me move the bigger table. As it turned out, he said his oldest daughter was looking for a larger table. He texted her and my problem of what to do with a formal dining room table with two leaves and four big chairs is solved. I'm delighted I can help her out and she didn't have to spend any more than what it will cost her to get a bottle of furniture polish and put a shine on the table and chairs. 

And so goes another holiday. It wasn't the quiet day I'd planned. It was a lot better. 

KC Kendricks
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Christmas Eve with the eleven month old (pup, that is)

December 24, 2016

It's long been a tradition of mine to bundle up against the December chill and take a walk through the woods to the old pond. With very few exceptions, my companions on these walks have been four-footed, not two. My human partner in life suffers from a nerve neuropathy and walking causes him pain. Last year, I walked alone having lost my beloved Jett in May.

This year is different. Deuce is my constant companion and he loves walking in the woods more than I do. Being young, he covers the ground with long strides, ranging far from the path following scent. His joy at being out and free is evident in his expressive eyes. And I find joy in watching him run and explore.

Our walks begin with a few Frisbee tosses because he loves his Frisbee. It also burns off the first rush of excitement. Then we take just a few minutes to review leash etiquette. I think this important in case we meet others walking in the state park. Duece needs to come to me quickly and be well-behaved so he doesn't make a nuisance of himself until we can continue in private. He also discourages interaction with strangers.

Time was only the locals walked in "my" woods. I miss those days. City folk come to the state park and get lost in the woods because they don't stick to the marked trails. I know where I'm going. These folks end up in my front yard with no idea where they are or which direction takes them back into the park to find their car so they can bolt back to the safety of some city. But I digress...

Today our walk is in jeopardy. I woke to the sound of rain on the bedroom window. When I stepped outside with Deuce (so he could do what a dog needs to do first thing in the morning) I discovered it's a cold, driving rain with a brisk wind. A light mist I think we could bundle up against, but not this. This is a bone-chilling, damp cold. Deuce's thick fur won't protect his paws from the wet, near-frozen ground.

Perhaps later in the day, the clouds will move on and we'll get to go on our walk. Perhaps not. It may turn out to be a good day to finally do website updates while doing some laundry. I also need to send short thank you notes for a few Christmas gifts I received from work-related contacts, those gifts being more about what I do professionally than me personally and therefore requiring a note.

Whichever path the weather puts me on will be fine. Deuce and I can walk or spend the day lounging in my study. I can play one of his doggie DVDs to keep him entertained while I work on the website. Either way, sometime today, rain or no rain, two strip steaks and a hamburger pattie will hit the grill. After that, the three of us, myself, the spousal unit, and the young dog will likely spend a quiet evening watching old Christmas movies. 

As for our walk in the woods, there's always tomorrow or the day after. I'll make sure the young dog gets a good run. Maybe he'll feel the spirits of Callahan and Jett walking with us. I know I will. 

Merry Christmas Eve to you and yours. May you spend the day doing the things you love to do.

KC 

Vacation, vacation? Who stole my vacation?

June 4, 2016

I've always enjoyed my spring vacation. I take the week following Memorial Day because, generally speaking, my birthday falls at the end of that week. Do people really enjoy working on their birthday? I don't. I want to kick back and relax on my birthday. Anyway, spring vacation 2016 is winding down.

We didn't do much this year. Having Deuce kept us close to home. He's five months old now and I can really see who he's going to be. He's very different from Jett, and that's okay. Jett was laid back, almost reserved. Deuce is outgoing and in your face. When he's over being a puppy, he's going to be a great companion. He rides better than Jett, who didn't respond well to the DH's herky-jerky driving. (Hell, I don't like the man's jerky on-and-off-the-gas driving style, but it doesn't make me throw up.) Our hope is that Deuce will be able to accompany us and we can do a bit of traveling when I either scale back my time at the day job or retire.

All-in-all, I enjoy being home. I look forward to the day I can call myself a full-time writer instead of a writer with a full-time job. I made pretty good use of my writing time during this vacation. The current WIP is at 19K. I created several simple covers for my back list, a cover for Christiane France, and got Hot August Comes back up. Not too bad. 

Now I must go through the old blog entries at Between the Keys and change any links I've missed to go to my website. Typing in some urls that have "amber" in them will direct you to strange places. I really must update those old links. What grinds my time is that I'll have to go back and update them again when the books go back out. Or not. 

Life certainly changed since Vacation 2015. I shudder to think what Vacation 2017 might bring to the door. Whatever comes, I'm determined to go with the flow and keep writing. 

KC Kendricks

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The Waiting Game

March 30, 2016

After what seems like an eternity, we've arrived at the last days of March. I feel like I've been living in the perfect storm.

• Amber Quill announced its closing leaving me with forty books to self-pub
• My mother had surgery 
• We had a blizzard with thirty inches of snow
• My mother ended up in the hospital again, then rehab
• I got a puppy
• My best friend in the whole world is moving away
• I prepped for the A to Z Blogging Challenge, which begins April 1
• I subbed a story to Loose Id as KC and it was accepted (my alter ego was one of the first authors they published back in 2004)

I've not written much new prose. This worries me but I've been a bit busy. On top of everything, I do work a full-time job and I do have the spousal unit. Both need a certain amount of attention. 

But for some reason, I got up this morning ready to kick ass first and take the names of anyone left standing later. Maybe it's because my mother is finally back home. Or perhaps it's because Deuce is pretty much house-trained. 

More likely it's because the waiting game is almost over. I can finally DO something. Amber Quill closes tomorrow. My books are already off All Romance eBooks and Amazon. Tonight I'll do as much pre-order loading as I can to make what books I have covers made for available on April 1. 

I've already made preliminary updates to my website. I'll have to go back and add the buy links when they're available. Same for here at Between the Keys. 

Finally, finally, finally, I feel like I can get moving again.

KC Kendricks
http://www.kckendricks.com

PS. Don't forget to check back on April 1 for the opening of the A to Z Blogging Challenge!