Today in History, February 18 - It's in the nickname

sunrise on the mountain

February 18, 2018

Today is one of the few days a year I know I won't open a manuscript-in-progress and work on it. Today is Daytona Sunday. 

My enjoyment of NASCAR began way back in the day when my Uncle Bob would take my cousin Linda and me with him to the local dirt track. I'm sure I thought the dirt track was great fun but you won't find me at one now. Dirt in my hair is NOT my thing. Linda and I could also pick any Sunday to sit in our Aunt Libby's backyard and watch the cars at the local dragstrip, too. Our county has a long and storied history of a vibrant car culture.  

NASCAR has gone through a lot of changes since the 1970's, some good, some bad. NASCAR is a single-family owned franchise - an oddity in the realm of sport. Sometimes they make crazy stupid rules but my sense of it is they don't want another death during a race. NASCAR is a lot tamer than it used to be. 

On this date in history, February 18, 2001, NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt, Sr. died in a crash on the last lap of the Daytona 500. I think Darrell Waltrip summed it up best: "Live by the push, die by the push." I think he was talking in a more metaphysical sense when he said that, nevertheless, Earnhardt earned his nickname of The Intimidator by perfecting "the push." He did a lot of "blocking," too, and we all saw how badly that ended. 

I wasn't a Senior fan, although I did like Junior. "My" driver was always Terry LaBonte (#5). I just liked the way he drove. They called him The Iceman for his seemingly unflappable style and coolness under pressure. Terry didn't go out and deliberately wreck other drivers. Later, they called him "Iron Man" for the number of consecutive starts he had over his career. After Terry retired, I started to pay attention to Tony Stewart. You know. The guy they called "Smoke" for his temper. I loved his outspoken attitude and fearlessness in telling the France family (NASCAR owners) the truth. Alas, he too retired. 

You know folks in the South love their nicknames. If you earn one, wear it like the badge of honor it is.

But there was hope. Stewart partnered with Gene Haas to create Stewart Haas Racing, which has four drivers. And one of those drivers is Kevin Harvick. I kinda slid into paying attention to him and now he's my driver. Happy Harvick is what Darrell Waltrip calls him. I think they should call Harvick "The Instigator" but that's for another blog. 

It wasn't until this morning that it struck me that Kevin Harvick is the driver they tapped to take over the #3 ride when Dale Earnhardt, Sr. was killed on this date back in 2001. 

So here we are with this year's Daytona 500 falling on the date in history, February 18, of Senior's demise. I can just hear those chatterbox announcers now. 

Maybe, just maybe, I'd be better off writing today. 

KC Kendricks
www.kckendricks.com

PS. The spousal unit will be cheering for Kyle Busch. They call him, "Rowdy." 

New cover up - September Morning

November 1, 2015
updated April 6, 2014

New cover up. Hmmm. Sounds like a headline on a piece about political corruption, doesn't it? But no...it's time to debut a new book cover. That's something much less sinister. 

So here it is - the September Morning cover. Is it all that I hoped for? Absolutely! The original cover left me pretty cold, but you don't argue with a publisher. You can't. The contract doesn't all you to tell the cover artist he failed. I did this one myself and it's sooooooooo much better. It's true to my vision of what I wanted. 

I like it. The struggle to learn Photoshop is finally paying off.  
_*_*_*_

To read an excerpt from September Morning, please visit my website at
http://www.kckendricks.com/SeptemberMorning.html

September Morning - look for it November 8, 2015 at Amber Quill Press.

KC Kendricks
www.kckendricks.com
twitter.com/kckendricks

In the blink of an eye

June 27, 2012

I've been writing. Scratch that. I've been absorbed by the writing. Better - and more accurate. I suddenly realized I've not blogged in almost a month.

The unfortuante thing is, I have nothing much to say this evening except I've been writing. Some stories flow out of me like water flows in the creek. Not so with the current WIP. The need to get the emotions "just right" is taking a lot of time.

That's not a complaint. I want it to be right. I need it to be right. But while I work, people in the blogosphere might think I died or something.

Nope. Still here and working.

Now I'm diving back in and going deep into the work-in-progress. Hopefully, a month won't go past until my next blog.

KC

K is for Kiss

On Being a Published Writer
A to Z Blogging 2012
April 12, 2012 - Day 11

Welcome to the 2012 A to Z Blogging Challenge. This year I’m focusing on things I’ve learned, observed and experienced in the nine years I’ve been published. If you’re a reader, I hope to offer an inside glimpse into the writer’s world. If you’re new to writing, I hope I can provide an insight or two. If you’re an established writer, maybe you’ll see similarities to your experience. Whatever path you walk, I welcome you to mine and hope you’ll enjoy the 2012 A to Z Blogging Challenge.

“A kiss is just a kiss.”

“It’s in his kiss.”

“Your kiss is on my list.”

“I want to kiss you all over…”
It’s hard to overstate the importance of mouth-to-mouth kissing in romance fiction. With both participants facing each other in a full frontal embrace, a kiss quite often does what our hero intends it to do. It leads to physical arousal in both participants, no matter of gender.

But how, as romance writers, do we vary the kiss? Basically, however we want to. Kisses are brief, soft, or quick. They can be deep and passionate. They represent a promise and a lure to pleasure. A kiss can soothe a hurt and punctuate shared laughter. A kiss can lay claim to a lover, or give a regretful goodbye.

Never be afraid to let your characters lead you to how they kiss. It’s a reflection of their personality, of their style. Work with them on it, don’t hinder them. But don’t be afraid to make them back up if they get it wrong.

The actual act of mouth-to-mouth kissing doesn’t vary that much. Lips meet, tongues dance, teeth nibble and tonsils get checked out. What makes the kiss special is the emotion that lies within it. Reach for that, and each kiss will be unforgettable.

The kiss is a moment of decision for both parties. Do they proceed toward a deeper intimacy, or retreat? As the writer, you choose, but you must tap into the emotions behind their next move.

Whether or not it takes one perfect sentence, or a couple of paragraphs, never underestimate the kiss.

KC Kendricks
website at: http://www.kckendricks.com/
blog: http://www.kckendricks.blogspot.com/
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/kckendricks
mailing list at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/betweenthekeys
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1989106.K_C_Kendricks
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/people/Kc-Kendricks/1439574042
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/kckendricks

Thoughts of the Day

December 13, 2011

I confess I have what I hope is merely a “healthy” curiosity about the news headlines. I’d hate to have to admit to obsession, but sometimes I wonder. Take yesterday, for example. I learned Katie Couric is single again (there are worse fates), that jewelry you’ve seen advertised on TV is a poor Christmas gift (get the he$$ outta town!), and finally, something really interesting, a TV station in New York, in a seventeen second loop, aired the first broadcast of the Yule Log burning in the hearth in 1966.


Okay - so I have the Yule Log DVD and I run it while I’m reading in the sunroom during this time of the year. It’s hokey, but I like it.


If you’re wondering what all that has to do with writing, let me confess that everything in my life revolves around writing. I’m a writer. Life is given to me so I can put it in a book. And I never know when some tidbit from the life will work its way into a book. Everything is relevant in one way or another.


I’m hardly unique in that. To be a writer, a person needs to have an active curiosity about many things. I think being able to maintain that curiosity as we age is important to our overall health. But beyond that, the writer has the ability to see a single item from different perspectives and blend those perspectives into one cohesive whole. It becomes an interesting gift to be given.


With Christmas almost upon us, I’ve been pondering my gift giving habits. My family and friends have been very blessed, but who doesn’t worry about the future in these trying times? Everyone I talk with confesses to less lavish spending during this holiday season and more giving to those organizations that reach out to those in need. We are among them, although there is the occasional trinket when we see something we know another will truly appreciate.


And to my partner: I’ll appreciate jewelry, especially pearls, advertised on television or not, anytime of the year.


KC
http://www.kckendricks.com

My Grandmother's Garden

July 3, 2011

Last year I wrote a post about the reblooming of my grandmother's first garden. Discovering the garden was such a profound moment in my life, I needed to share it. I'm sure no one will be surprised to learn I had to take the blog entry down due to spam comments. Why they found that blog so attractive, I'll never fathom.

This summer seeds harvested from those amazing plants have sprouted and are growing and gaining strength in my garden, and I can barely refrain from hopping up and down with glee. I decided it was time to share the story once more, and hope you'll forgive me for not allowing comments to this post. - KC

***
A Precious Legacy




July 11, 2010

I have faded memories of the old log cabin on the other side of the creek, the one my grandparents ‘went to house keeping’ in back in 1930. Abandoned by my grandparents when they built a brick home in 1940, the dark logs with their white chinking had almost disappeared when I was a girl, hidden by the poplar grove that sprang up in the old front yard. When I was about eight, my granddad hooked a chain on the old Allis Chalmers tractor, and pulled the cabin down lest one of his grandchildren come to harm playing in its shadow. From 1965 to 2007, the forest laid claim to the property, shrouding it with grapevines, and a carpet of ferns.

Being an only child, in a family of mostly only children, makes for some very close ties. My cousins and I act more like brothers and sister than some blood siblings do. When the subject was broached that one among the third generation was interested in the old lot, there was no need for discussion. All of us grand-kids are established with our own homes, on property given us by our grandparents (yes, we’re all neighbors and have been for almost thirty years). We welcomed the chance to honor the spirit of our grandparents, and pass the old property to one of the great-grand-kids who would care for it. Clearing began in 2007, and the new, modern house was completed in 2008, built on the exact spot where the cabin stood so many years ago.

Little did I know the treasure that would surface this year when I paid a visit to my young cousin. I strolled down my lane, hopped the creek, and walked across a carpet of grass where a few short years ago, wild ferns grew. Being family, I went around the corner of the house with the intent of using the kitchen door. What I saw stopped me dead in my tracks.

The entire length of the backyard, where lawn met the woods, was awash with pink, purple, and white foxgloves, yellow coreopsis, white daisies, pink columbine, and red sweet Williams. What sprawled before me was my grandmother’s first garden. I plopped down on the porch step, and cried.

All those seeds, dormant in the good earth for decades, had fulfilled the promise of sun and rain, sprouted and grown, and now bloomed. I marveled at the miracle, even as I berated myself for not visiting my young cousin at the right time last year. But things happen for a reason, and last year the foxglove would not have bloomed yet, and I might not have noticed what I've been assured was only a few daisies.

I’ve since transplanted roots and harvested seeds. Come fall, I’ll move more roots to my own garden, increasing my chances of good growth in the spring. I will cast the seeds back onto the earth, and watch for seedlings in the coming years, a precious legacy unknowingly left by a woman who loved her only granddaughter well.

*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/the-bookshelf-of-kc-kendricks-and-rayne_3.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

pinterest.com/kckendricks/boards

instagram.com/kc_kendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Keys

To Page or Not to Page

June 25, 2011

Another Saturday morning and I'm taking an Internet stroll through websites and blogs as I enjoy a cup of Caribou Mahogany coffee. Mahogany is a darker roast with a milder flavor and, at least to my poor palette, no aftertaste. But I digress...again...

As with many authors, I'm always on the lookout for ways to improve my website and blog. Gone are the days when all the author had to do is write the story. We're all a one-person show and since we are, we help fuel Internet marketing trends with our ceaseless efforts. Yep. There are that many of us.

For some time now, I've wanted to clean up the appearance of Between the Keys. I love color so having all those gorgeous covers Trace Edward Zaber has done for me on display usually hits on the pleasure receptors in my brain. Maybe it's the coffee, but this morning I'm thinking they might be a bit much. That leads straight to the question of what should I do with them?

Hmm. Maybe it's time to try a few blogger pages. A blog is just a mini-website, right? I know lots of authors who only have blog-sites and never do go .com . At this point in time, blogs are usually free so maybe they're smarter than me. I don't know. I happen to like having a professional .com and a for-fun freebie blog, too. I'm digressing again, aren't I?

Back to the idea of adding pages to my blog. How hard can it be? Blogger is usually quite easy. Figuring out what I should put on the new pages is the hard part.

I think I'll go fix another cup of coffee and take it and a notepad to the patio. It's a fine Saturday morning in western Maryland. The world around me is green, full and lush with all the rain we've had. The hummingbirds are busy conducting aerial battles around the feeder. None of my neighbors are outside with power tools yet, making noise.

Forget the notepad. It seems like it's the perfect time to indulge in a lazy morning away from the one-person show. I'll get the idea of pages on the blog figured out later. And who knows? Maybe all the quiet will inspire me.

KC

The Story I'm Meant to Write

May 22, 2011

I think one of the hardest things for an author to do is to completely ignore what those around he/she are writing as it applies to their own work. Writing is a solitary pursuit, and we humans are not solitary creatures. Every day we are bombarded – literally- with news about fellow writers. New releases, new reviews, new blogs – you name it, we hear about it.

That’s not to say it’s wrong to keep informed because it’s not, but information is a mixed bag of good and bad. You wish some people would stop pounding themselves on the back. You begin to wonder if their mother neglected them to the point they simply must, must, must find approval and affirmation anywhere and any way they can. Some people you wish would share their good news from time to time even as you appreciate their low-key approach to life. It’s never right and it’s never wrong, all being part of that solitary pursuit.

Having this bombardment of news creates a peculiar problem for me. I was a reader long before I decided to put my writing talent to use, and I’m still a reader. This morning, I checked on the new releases from various publishers, read the book blurbs to see which one(s) I might like to add to my Kindle. I stumbled across one in particular and wondered why I didn’t think of that plot. The answer is because it’s not the story I was supposed to write.

From time to time, I’ve heard other authors voice the question, “Has someone copied my work?” I’m not going to say that it never happens because maybe it does. Piracy is a big problem and very little is being done to address it at the levels at which it has a chance to be effective. Once a story leaves your hands, anything is possible. But I think it’s more likely that the professional writer taps into the well of shared human experience. Some stories, even if occasionally made familiar by the daily news, are told in our individual voice.

While however disheartening it is to learn someone else has written a story similar to something that we’ve had on our plot board for months, I think our job is to go ahead and write our story as we envision it, to put our own stamp on it. When finished, it will be different, unique with our own voice.

It is also unsettling when demands are made for information. The Internet is a very public place and once we have committed our ideas to the Internet they are free for the taking. When asked what we are currently working on, we need to weigh the pros and cons of our answer, of who is asking the question, why they believe they are entitled to that information, and in what forum we find ourselves when this question is put to us.

So bear with me, and other authors, when we are silent, for we have much work to do, writing the story we are meant to write.

Q is for Quetzal

April 20, 2011
A to Z Blogging Challenge
Day 17 - Q



Did I fool you on this one? Blogging for “Q” is not easy. Yeah, yeah, I know. I could have gone with queer (as in the unusual) or Queen (long may the music reign, Freddie), but that was too easy. I just shluffed off three days on promo for Netting Neptune, Open Roads, and Passion’s Victory. I had to come up with something special for Q.

The quetzal is a bird that lives in Central America. I guess it needs the beautiful colored feathers to make up for a less than pretty face. I knew about this bird and its importance to Mayan and Aztec cultures (being a National Geographic devotee), but who knew I’d ever use it as blog fodder? Not me, that’s for sure. But this is one of the more interesting aspects of writing – the pieces of information that become useful.

Curiousity about the obscure is something I hope I never lose. This little blue sphere we live on is full of magic and mystery. Imagine life one-hundred years ago, a time when virtually all of us would never know about the huge cave found in an Asian jungle, or Easter Island, or the Nazca Lines. I’ll never be an expert on any of it, but I’m happily curious about it all.

The more serious writer would probably scoff at the time I waste clicking here and there about the Internet, wasting time on things like looking at pictures of a weird little bird. Heaven only knows what sort of infractions I’ve heaped on my own head by blogging about it, but I don’t really care. I don’t think it’s time wasted.

I don’t think it matters that I’ll never write a story about a quetzal. Just knowing it’s out there, that it’s been out there in some stage of evolution for thousands of years, brings a sense of wonder into my life. And we could all use a little more of that.

KC Kendricks
Visit my website at: http://www.kckendricks.com
Follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/kckendricks
Join my mailing list at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/betweenthekeys
Read my personal blog: http://www.kckendricks.blogspot.com

Gearing Up for the A-Z Blogging Challenge

March 28, 2011



In just a few days, the A to Z Bloggging Challenge for 2011 will begin. I'm ready. I've got my ideas plotted, the middle fleshed out, and I know where it ends.

Now the real challenge begins. REMEMBERING to post the blog every darn day.

KC

New wallpaper

March 25, 2011

It's been a long week. I get to do some neat things at my day job, but by Friday I'm always ready for a break. This afternoon, when I finally made it home, a nice surprise waited for me in my inbox - the cover for Between the Moon and the Deep Blue Sea, which will be out in May. Instead of writing for a bit, I played on my computer and made a wallpaper.

Now playtime is over and it's time to do something more constructive, like WRITE!

**updated May 30, 2016**

Between the Moon and the Deep Blue Sea has a new cover! And I made it myself, too. I think it came out quite well.

KC

Pizza, wine, and a movie

It was good to be a girl growing up in the country. And where I live was truly country when I was fourteen. It's not so much anymore. Sure, it's RURAL, but the unique flavor of a community founded by five large families has been lost. Too many new folks just sleep in the houses they built or bought here. It's a condition of many small dots on the map. But I digress.

Like a lot of young girls, I loved horses. We had neighbors with a stable, and I had permission to ride four of the less valuable horses at will. With their own children grown and gone, the only stipulation was that I exercise all of them, not just my favorite. Now that's a deal.

It just so happened my favorite was a sweet, and smart, little guy named Sinbad who'd follow me around like a dog. He was the one who always galloped to meet me at the gate, ready for adventure. I never rode him far, mindful of the small stature he didn't know he had, but he's the one I missed when the stable was sold. Anyway, I loved horses.

So where I am going with this trip down memory lane? Right to last night.

Last night, all I had on my mind was finishing chapter ten. The current WIP has a March 1 deadline, but I want it finished now. So when my honey, this sixty-something, balding, near-sighted, ex-bad boy lead guitarist said it was time for a movie night, I stared at him. When he left to go pickup a pizza, I realized just how serious he was.

I was suspicious. I've lived with this man for almost twenty years. He goes along with the concept of movie night, but he doesn't initiate them. And he brought home a bottle of wine with the pizza! Yep. Suspicious behavior. I started to see dollar signs, as in whatever he wants to buy must be BIG.

Well, I must confess this morning, sheepishly, that I had it wrong this time. The spousal unit didn't have an ulterior motive beyond providing me with an enjoyable evening. We settled on the sofa with our pizza and cheap White Zif, and he selected a pay-per-view channel. The movie - Secretariat.

I love this guy almost as much as I love horses.

The Road Just Traveled - Looking Back at 2010

December 22, 2010

**Post updated 4/12/2017 and 4/2/21**

**Amber Quill Press has closed and the paperbacks are no longer available**

It’s the time of year when it doesn’t matter what blog you read, you’ve got a better than fifty-fifty chance of landing on some version of “My Year in Review.” I don’t think it’s so much that we authors who blog are looking for material to post, but more that it’s a time for us to gather our thoughts and energies and focus on our future.

What better way to look forward than to first look back? To understand the road just traveled guides us around the potholes in the road ahead. Those who stop here at Between the Keys are my honored guests, and welcome traveling companions. So what is newsworthy about the year 2010? Let’s look back and see.

The year started out with the release of two paperback compilations. I can’t say enough nice things about Amber Quill Press, and their paperback program is just one of the great marketing tools they have in their arsenal. Night Moves*, which contains my favorite story Tango in the Night, and Give Me One Night, was released at the turn of the last new year. I love the Night Moves cover! It’s my favorite of all Trace Edward Zaber has done for me. This talented cover artist is another reason AQP tops my list of publishers.

At the Southern Cross, a three-story compilation that includes Netting Neptune, Taming Triton, and Poseidon’s Pleasure, was also released near the first of the year. Poseidon’s Pleasure is my second favorite story of among those I’ve written. Having paperbacks available is such a treat for me, the author. Ebooks are the way of the future, and in my case outsell the paperbacks probably about 100 to 1, but I still enjoy having a stack of MY paperbacks on my nightstand. Call me old-fashioned for having this one little backward-thinking indulgence.

The first new release of the year was Shine A Light. A difficult story to write, I struggled with how far a “romance,” even a contemporary gay romance, should tread into the topic of HIV. In the end, I have to ask if I handled the subject to the best of my ability for my readers. How sophisticated has the romance reader become? It wouldn’t bother me one iota to read a story where one character was HIV positive, but I’m looking at it from the mixed perspective of writer/reader.

Shine A Light was quickly followed by In the Limelight, another paperback that includes Shine A Light, and Seducing Light. (In the Limelight went out of print 3/31/16.) As I’ve stated, Amber Quill Press has a lot going for it, and offering the author the opportunity to have each book in both ebook and paperback, thereby broadening availability, is a marketing program other publishers would do well to adopt.

April brought the release of A Hard Habit to Break, the first of many stories set in the fictional town of Marionville. Some of you may be familiar with the term ‘world building,’ and this is what I’m doing in Marionville. I’ve developed a town/city setting in which to create a

community of characters. The books won’t be sequels to each other, but you may discover that your favorite characters from A Hard Habit to Break are still happy together when you read Open Roads, and What You Don’t Confess.

Between A Hard Habit to Break and Open Roads there was a neat little shapeshifter story entitled, The Back Stairs. This is the first shapeshifter I’ve written as KC Kendricks, and I had a lot of fun with it. Sundown is a different sort of shifter, and it’s not your standard shapeshifter story. The transformation is not the main event – the romance is, and to that end, the human half of the pairing stumbles a bit on his way to accepting the differences between himself and his lover. Metaphorical? You decide. I’ve actually just completed a sequel to The Back Stairs, and hope to delight my publisher by getting a cover blurb written so I can send it in. Will he be delighted? One hopes.

So that’s a surprising look back. I had five new books released in 2010, along with four paperbacks. You’d think I wouldn’t lose track since it’s my backlist, but I don’t often stop and take a long, retrospective look back at my body of work. When it comes to many things, including writing, my focus is forward.

My year closes with a sense of accomplishment. I’ve grown in my writing and learned a few things, which I endeavor to do at all times. Life and living go hand-in-hand with learning, whatever your passion. Outward growth is encouraged by inward growth, even if the universe sends us in marvelous, unexpected directions.

I’ve been happy at my keyboard throughout 2010, finding secrets between the keys. As we dive headlong into the holiday season, that’s good enough for me.

 _*_*_*_*_*_*_

 KC Kendricks

My home on the web- Between the Keys: 

http://kckendricks.blogspot.com

Visit my bookshelf at: 

https://kckendricks.blogspot.com/p/the-bookshelf-of-kc-kendricks-and-rayne.html

Social media links:

twitter.com/kckendricks

pinterest.com/kckendricks/boards

instagram.com/kc_kendricks

facebook.com/kckendricks

Life through the eyes of my black Lab, Greenbrier Smokey Deuce: deucesday.blogspot.com

My country life at Holly Tree Manor: hollytreemanor.blogspot.com

Snips and clips on my YouTube channel: KC Kendricks Between the Key

Remembering old friends

I came to writing contemporary gay romance by a circuitous path. I’d been published for several years in the world of erotic romance under a different nom de plume. It was fun, and rewarding, and I enjoyed it immensely. For those reasons, it came as quite a surprise to me to wake up one morning and know that if I wanted to continue to write, I had to change direction. I'd grown through my writing, now my writing had to grow with me. But what path to take?

No, slash fiction wasn’t my first thought, but the universe works in mysterious ways. I sat down at the computer and opened my calendar. The reminder, “J-s birthday,” popped up. My friend would have been fifty that day, had he not died so young.

J-’s home was the first house over the line to attend a different elementary school, and as we entered the same middle school together, we started to hang out. Did I suspect he “didn’t like girls?” By the time we were in high school, certainly. Did it matter? Not a bit. We were buddies. In 1975, our senior year, he had a copy of The Front Runner by Patricia Nell Warren. He handed it to me and told me to read it. I did. When I returned the book, he asked me if I knew what it meant, and he asked me if we were still friends. Silly boy.

To keep the story short, I got my copy of The Front Runner off the shelf, where it had resided unopened for so many years, and reread it. But I didn’t need to open it to know it. I first read the opening line in 1975, but I remembered it like it was yesterday. TFR remains one of the most hauntingly powerful stories I’ve ever read.

J’s fiftieth birthday was the day I decided to write a contemporary gay romance story for him. It snowballed from there. I like to think of him perched on the hood of his 1965 Impala, that damned unlit cigarette tucked behind his ear, and smiling his I-know-a-secret smile at me.

What would he be like today? Would he be happy? Would he have someone special in his life? Would he like the stories I write for him?

I think he would.

Many Rooms

November 11, 2010

There is a lovely line in an episode of Queer as Folk, spoken by the character of Lindsay, that strikes a chord with me.

My house has many rooms. I occupy but a few. The rest go unvisited.

In my house.

I am a daughter, a partner, a cousin, a friend, a co-worker, a supervisor, an employee.

I am a writer, a bowler, a music lover, a cook, an artist, a seamstress, a photographer.

These are rooms I occupy frequently.

But what about those other rooms, those I do not visit? I'm not sure I've even identified them all, although I sense their presence. Perhaps one day my journey will lead me to open some of those doors, be it slowly one by one, or recklessly flinging several open at once.

Many rooms.

I like that.

The Return of the Muse

October 30, 2010

The creative process is often a mystery to me. I’d like to understand it on a deeper level, but I have this sense of it that says it’s best not to examine it too closely or it will cease to function. What I do know is, in the context of my own creativity, external stress damps it down to a virtually non-functioning level.

It’s an unfortunate fact of our society – a person is expected to want to climb the ladder of success. Whether you’re successful or not, you MUST want it. You must buy into the grind.

Okay – define success.

I’ve spent my working life taking steps up the ‘corporate’ ladder, only to discover I’m really a writer. The older I get, the more I realize that while my day job(s) have certainly provided me with the means to live comfortably, the daily nine-to-five grind has exacted a toll.

Perhaps I’m simply tired, having once again lived through the yearly process of setting the corporate budget for the new year. Ten years ago, it took two weeks, start to finish, to get all those involved to sign off on the budget, and move on. Yea! Success! Let’s all get back to work and do some good in our community.

This year, it took two long, whine-filled, miserable, argumentative months.

It’s been awhile since I fervently wished women ruled the world, but after dealing with so many little boys wearing fancy suits and scuffed shoes, I’m there again. Be careful what favors you need, fellas. I’m not in the mood to share my meager departmental resources.

And while things worked out favorably for my little niche in the operations, my heart longs for something else. It cries for the comfort of my home office. The quiet. The serene view of golden leaved trees through the windows, instead of the blur of cars cruising the streets. My dog sleeping behind my chair as the prose flows from my fingertips. The real me. The writer.

It’s all behind me for another year, but I mourn the loss of two months writing time. The muse, if you want to call it that, flees when stressed. It’s not a good thing. She controls more than writing. She’s that part of me that goes around the house ‘fluffing’ things, that knows how to rearrange the furniture, what new recipe to try, and how to string a new bead necklace in the perfect color combination. When she vanishes, there’s not much going on inside.

But you know what? Maybe she’s a smart muse. Maybe she needs a little vacation from time-to-time. With the stress behind me (or is it us?) she’s back, and she brought a truckload of ideas with her. It’s pretty evident this October morning that instead of hiding, she was merely resting quietly, giving me the space I needed handle outside affairs.

The words once again flow, birthed somewhere deep inside that well of creativity that constantly astounds me. Why I was given such a gift is a mystery, one I can be thankful for even if I don’t understand everything about it.

But then, maybe I’m not supposed to understand it. Maybe I’m supposed to simply enjoy it for the gift it is.

The daily confusion

Gemini’s Horoscope for August 25, 2010

You need to let yourself really push on your career track, even if you'd rather be doing other things. You can make more progress than you realize if you just shift some resources around.

I’ve been thinking about my horoscope all day and wondering to which career it refers. There’s my day job, where I spend forty-plus hours a week wowing everyone with my administrative skills, and there’s my writing career where I spend forty-plus hours a week trying to survive as a little bitty fish in a great big pond.

You’d think I’d rather concentrate on the career where I get heaps of praise, but not so. I prefer life in the crowded waters of the pool.

If I had my ‘druthers’ my career as office manager/administrative assistant would be winding down, and my writing career ramping up. Maybe that’s my answer. Writing is what I want to do, so I need to make the push at the day job.

Do the stars and planets deliberately set out to confuse me?

And what resources are they talking about? I wish these things came with a detailed outline and a roadmap. I'd worry about getting it all figured out, but come tomorrow, I'll have a new puzzle to solve. Until then, it's time to get back to work. I'll let you figure out which career I'm working on today :)

It's a trashy problem

July 24, 2010
7:21 AM

I read this morning where Wal-Mart plans to use "smart tags" on clothing. Privacy advocates aren't too fond of this idea. There's no way to turn the tag off, and the theory is the unscrupulous can track you by your jeans. While some of their concerns sound a wee bit far-fetched for 2010, I'm sure by 2015 they have the potential to be manifested. So here's my solution.

From now on, when I buy something from Wal-Mart, I will cut out the tags and put them in a little baggie. My next trip to Wal-Mart, I'll take the baggie with me and let Wal-Mart dispose of it. Let's call it recycling.

It's the principle of the thing, you understand.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/110152/wal-mart-radio-tags-to-track-clothing

On the other hand, tracking this fellow by his jeans wouldn't be a hardship for anyone I know.

Saturday and Sundry things of June

My life is a cycle of chaos and order. June, my birth month, seems destined to be a time of chaos. Perhaps 'chaos' equates to 'excitement' in my world. I do normally have a rather quiet life - and I like it that way.

This month started off with a wedding, a birthday, a week of vacation, a slightly tardy contractor, and an unpleasant surprise.

The wedding was quite nice. My spousal unit sang a solo, which made me tear up. I guess it's a good thing that after almost twenty years he can do that to me. My birthday came and went with a shower of cards and calls. Very nice.

The contractor was supposed to arrive and build a roof over my patio while I was on vacation. He didn't make it on time. Some people say never hire family, but I say call 'em up if they have a license to do the work and you can trust them to do a good job. In this case, when the young man said he was "stuck" on another job, I knew it was the truth, and not some contractor jive.

Bottom line - the roof is finished and I love, love, love my new patio space, and I'm dreaming of the next job for my contractor cousin - laying quarry tile on the patio next summer. I hope to score some new patio furniture when the seasonal sales begin since the roof actually came in under his estimate. Did my young cousin do a good job? Yes, he did. And if I have any problems, and he's slow getting here, hey, I know where he lives. He's family. I'll hold his wine chiller hostage if I need to.

As for unpleasant surprises, I've had two. My partner needed a little medical procedure. I'd go into detail, but all the men reading this would drop their mouse, grab their "boys," break out in a cold sweat, fall off their chair, and lie curled in a fetal ball, twitching on the floor. Suffice it to say, my hubby is fine now and everything seems to be in good working order.

The other unpleasant surprise is truly frightening. My stepdad, whom I think the world of, will be having open heart surgery to replace a faulty valve. It's a serious operation, but he's in otherwise good health, and went to the doctor as soon as he felt his heart rhythm change. This means the problem will be corrected quickly, and his overall health hasn't suffered. A plus, yes, but I'll be worried until the operation is over and he's back on his feet with a clean bill of health. I need him around for at least another twenty years.

So half of this June has passed, albeit in a blur. My TO DO list is growing. My writing, out of necessity, has slowed. It's hard to get the story out of my head and into the computer when I'm sitting in waiting rooms. But this, too, shall pass. Order will eventually be restored. Until then, I will enjoy my new patio space, cherish my loved ones, and try not to worry myself into a state of exhaustion.

All of it, good experiences and bad, make up who I am and how I handle the next Big Crisis. It improves me as a person as it adds layers of knowledge and confidence. My life, and my craft, will survive these short-term set-backs. I'm a tough old bird. I just wish I didn't have to keep proving it.

None of it matters in this moment. The sun is finally peeking through the trees, and it's a fine June morning. Family, chores and writing will have to wait just a wee bit longer. I'm taking my coffee outside, to my new patio space, and concentrate on nothing more than breathing.

KC

The new roof and the hummingbirds

There is a big change happening at my place. I've lived here long enough to have paid off the mortgage, so I'm used to certain things like the sun beating down on the patio and cooking me if I'm foolish enough to be out there at high noon.

No more.

Workmen have been here this past week building a roof over the patio. It's been a long time coming, and I can't wait until they're completely finished. The fellows are almost done in that all that remains is for the flashing and gutters to be installed. By next weekend, quiet will be restored, and what outdoor furniture I have will be arranged. I may even go purchase a cheap carpet remnant. Emphasis on cheap. Maybe by next summer the money tree will bloom again, and we can upgrade.

When I let the dog out this morning, I took a few minutes to ponder a very important question: where to place the hummingbird feeder? If you've never had ruby-throated hummingbirds, you may not realize the important of this. Take it from me, you don't want to make a mistake. You'd better hang the feeder where the dominant bird in the neighborhood likes it. Oh, and don't let it get empty. Bad human! Hummingbirds will hover in front of your face and chitter at you. Those little brains 'get it', so you'd better get it, too.

I'm going to be a wimp and hang it as close to the same spot as possible, but a wee bit higher than the shepherd's hook it was on. A bracket can go on a post now. We have at least three males that hang around, and one is definitely The Boss. He guards the patio feeder with amazing aggression for something so small. We're not so sure he's in favor of the new roof. Time will tell if he stays, or opens the territory up for a more pleasant monarch to take over.

As usual, what's going on in my life has crept into a manuscript. A new character will buy his first house - a fixer-upper. I'm not sure if he'll meet a sexy carpenter or the guy across the street. One way or another, sparks will fly, and not from bad wiring. Isn't it amazing what the droning of an air compressor can inspire?

KC Kendricks