O is for Orgasm

On Being a Published Author
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
A to Z Blogging 2012
Day 15


Welcome to the 2012 A to Z Blogging Challenge. This year I’m focusing on things I’ve learned, observed and experienced in the nine years I’ve been published. If you’re a reader, I hope to offer an inside glimpse into the writer’s world. If you’re new to writing, I hope I can provide an insight or two. If you’re an established writer, maybe you’ll see similarities to your experience. Whatever path you walk, I welcome you to mine and hope you’ll enjoy the 2012 A to Z Blogging Challenge.

No matter what you call it - the Big O, climax, release, to come, to cum, get off - the sexual orgasm is an essential part of erotic romance. It doesn’t matter if you write straight het, man-on-man, or for the ladies, the orgasm matters.

We all like the romance, the building of the relationship. We root for the two (and sometimes three) main characters to find each other, and common ground. And we want them to experience the unique bonding of the sexual orgasm.

There are as many schools of thought about how the climax should be handled as there are readers. As a writer, how do we please them all? The short answer is - we shouldn’t even try. Above all else a writer has to be true to their own voice and characters.

When I first started to write, I bought a book by a very well known romance writer. As in very well known. I read it, then passed it on to my mother for her opinion. What I got was a comment I’ll never forget.

“I guess it was a good enough story, but this woman only knows one way to have sex and it’s boring.”

Yes, girls and boys, that was my Mommy’s comment. It set me back on my heels a bit, coming from her, but I got over it. Mostly. (Yes, it made me think things about my mother best unthought.) The thing is, she was absolutely correct. I reread the book and every sex scene was exactly the same, and Mother wasn’t talking about Part Boy fitting into Part Girl. She referred to the emotional intensity, or lack thereof, of the orgasm.

Is every time you have sex the same? No. At least for your sake I hope not. We make love slowly, or we have quickies. We’re full of energy, or not. We orgasm multiple times, or not at all. We do a little oral, or a lot, or not. We may like toys, or visual aids. We may be in the mood to go to bed early, and alone, for some private time.

It doesn’t matter which scenario we choose as long as we tap into the emotions present when the sex act happens. It’s that balance of feeling and action that most readers like and keeps them reading.

Is it easy? No, but no one said pulling pure thought from the air and turning it into a romance novel would be easy. Taking it one step deeper into erotic romance is even harder. But the best things never come easy.

No pun intended.

KC Kendricks
website at: http://www.kckendricks.com
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Coming tomorrow - P is for Promotion.