A year ago I knew I needed to step away from the computer for awhile. My husband had died in March of 2024, and I can assure you that the death of a spouse puts a person in a strange state. I, who am a logical person, was certainly there. And yet, what I did to fill in the writing gap was not a logical step. I started to make videos.
What was I thinking? The truth is I have no clue.
Where did I want to go with it? The truth is I had no clue. Still don't.
It did get my mind working again. Now I find I really enjoy sharing a bit of my real life, especially with women in my age group. I'm astonished at two of the women in my dinner clique. One is widowed, like me, and one is caring for a seriously ill spouse, like the former me. They depend on their children to do for them. I don't think it would take much for them to emotionally exhaust their offspring. Those women could do more for themselves, but they don't want to. I'm trying to show, through my videos, that taking care of yourself is not that difficult.
Anyway...
Time marches on. It gets easier to navigate life alone. I've learned to relax and not worry about those things I don't get done TODAY. I prioritize the most important item on my list and make sure that's accomplished first. After that, the day is a breeze. The things undone will eventually be done.
More and more, writing is once again a part of my day. I'm thinking about this or that story. I'm writing prose. If you're on Facebook, it may look as though I'm posting annoying promo after annoying promo, but when I come to a spot in a story where I need to evaluate the next bit, I pause and do something else. On a scorching hot summer day, that's zipping off a few promos.
Looking back at the last year and a half is like looking into a time capsule. I'll never live through another time like that. But through it all I never doubted I'd come out the other side and be okay. I doubted if I'd write again, or if I wanted to stay in the house I shared with Ron, but I never once didn't believe that at my core I was fine.
It's a very cool August day, with a light mist falling. A perfect day to write and to be about the business of writing. I think I'll get to it.
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